The Winding Roads
by Sophia Hawkins
Summary: OC. It seems any time new people come through Hazzard County, something bad is bound to happen. But the latest visitor might just turn the whole county on its head, especially Bo and Luke.
1. Chapter 1

The Winding Roads

A/N: This is my first (and probably only) attempt at a Dukes of Hazzard story. I've never seen much of the show and I've never been a huge fan of it but I always wanted to do a story for Dukes of Hazzard, and finally managed to come up with one based on one idea I've held onto for several years. Especially given the recent backlash of the show, making it a lot harder to watch it to verify certain things, if anything is out of character or contradicts a setting or scene from the show, I am largely winging it here, I apologize, please bear with me, and I hope you enjoy. All standard disclaimers apply, don't own, don't sue.

"You know something, Luke," Bo said to his cousin in the middle of a long drive down an empty country road.

"What, Bo?"

"I'm getting an idea, the next time we agree to drive a shipment for somebody, we better make it a new policy to _check_ the truck before taking it."

"Gee, it only took us getting framed five times for transporting everything from firearms to a moving casino for you to figure that out, eh?" Luke asked as he glanced over at his cousin before returning his attention to the road.

Bo just shrugged and replied, "I didn't hear you say anything."

"We just got lucky that this time it proved to be a _legitimate_ haul," Luke reminded him, "I don't know about you but I'm getting tired of every time we try to help someone out _we_ wind up in the frying pan."

"Amen," Bo responded, "Now I'm just looking forward to getting back home and…" he looked at Luke who seemed distracted and asked him, "What?"

Something caught Luke's eye and he checked the mirror on his side and saw a car traveling some distance behind them and kicking up a mighty dust cloud in its tracks. Luke turned his head to get a better look and asked Bo, "Hey, who's that?" They'd been on the road for 15 minutes and this was the first they'd seen of anyone following them.

Bo turned in his seat and looked out the back window and answered, "Don't know, they're too far behind us."

A thought occurred to Luke and he asked Bo, "You don't suppose it's Cooter, do you?"

Bo looked back again and shook his head, "Nah, couldn't be…could it?"

The two cousins looked at each other mutually for a quick second before Bo picked up the radio and called out into CB land, "Cooter, you got your ears on out there?"

At first there was just a crackle of static coming back, and then instead of a voice answering them, they heard music coming through the radio.

"What is _that_?" Luke asked.

Bo responded, "I think Jerry Reed."

"Never mind," Luke said, "It obviously ain't Cooter." He chanced another look back and said, "I wonder who it _is_ though…"

"Maybe Rosco couldn't get his squad car fixed and had to take a loaner," Bo thought, "Or just hijacked somebody else's car."

Luke looked in the rear view mirror and saw the other car was staring to gain on them now and as best as he could make out it was a red 1977 Chevy Camaro, and it seemed to be gaining on them at a steady speed of 60 mph.

"I don't think so," Luke replied, but he couldn't think of an alternative idea he liked better.

Bo was also now able to get a better look at the car and he knew it wasn't one they'd seen in Hazzard County before, he just shrugged and suggested, "Maybe it's somebody lost."

Luke kept one eye on the mirror and the other on the road and told his cousin, "That's about 50 miles too fast for being lost."

And steadily getting faster, both Dukes noticed. It looked like it was going to plow straight into them if they didn't move, so Luke made a sharp swerve to the side and they _just_ made it and about went off the road entirely as the red Camaro raced past them entirely and left _them_ in the dust.

"I don't care _who_ it is," Bo told his older cousin, " _Nobody_ does that to us."

Even Luke would agree his interest was definitely piqued, he stepped down on the accelerator and decided they were going to find out why and who would be in such a hurry on _this_ road in the middle of nowhere.

The General Lee's engine let out a deafening roar as the needle on the speedometer climbed and in a few mere seconds they were almost neck and neck with the red Camaro, but just before they got close enough to see who was driving it, the driver of the other car gained a second wind and peeled out at what must've been 110 miles an hour, and they followed a good 50 feet driving blind through the flying dust, and when it cleared they were met instead with the sight of a large truck heading towards them. Luke sharply swerved to the other side and _just_ missed colliding with the truck, _and_ just about ran them off the road again, and the red car was gone.

"What happened?" Bo asked as he looked around, "Where'd it go?"

"I don't know," Luke replied as he slightly shook his head, "But I don't like this."

A new idea occurred to Bo and he asked Luke, "You think Boss Hogg's got a new racket going with some big time crooks?"

"Do pigs love mud?" Luke said in response, "Still, I doubt that _that_ would be _them_."

"Why not?" Bo asked.

"Too obvious."

The two of them continued to make small talk amongst themselves for several minutes, and _just_ as they were on the last bend before getting back into the county, Bo looked ahead and pointed to a red car _just_ off the road up ahead and told Luke, "Hey look."

"Well maybe now we can get some answers," Luke said as he hit the brakes.

As the General Lee came to a stop and both Dukes climbed out through the windows, they realized that the radio in the red car was still on, and saw that whoever had been driving it now had his feet sticking out the drive's side window, wearing brownish red cowboy boots, respectively crossed over one another.

"This ought to be good," Bo said as they advanced towards the other car.

They made their way over to the Camaro, the driver's side not being the best side from which to confront the guy but the _only_ side from which they could catch him off guard for sure, so as he couldn't make any quick getaways. Luke was the first to reach the window, and while the undersides of the boots blocked his vision of what the guy sprawled over the whole front seat looked like, he said authoritatively, "Alright, buddy, you've got some explaining to do."

The boots uncrossed and retracted back in through the window, revealing the driver.

"Buddy? That's a new one on me."

It was a woman.

"Uh," Luke felt his bottom jaw drop in surprise.

The door opened and the driver stepped out and revealed to be very much a woman, except she didn't particularly look the part. She was tall and gangly with some mild muscle sculpted in her arms, dressed in a pair of men's blue jeans and a man's Confederate flag muscle shirt. She had straight blonde hair that had been cut insanely short like she was trying to give herself a crew cut and it finally grew an inch. She stood in a slouching matter and had an open beer can in one hand; if she'd been a guy she would've been the poster child for indefinite country hick, least as far as appearances went. To put it simply, she may have been a woman, but she sure didn't dress like Daisy, and even if she did, it was a very safe bet she would look _nothing_ like Daisy.

"Allow me," Bo said to his cousin, and extended a hand, "Hi my name's Bo Duke and this is my cousin Luke Duke, now do you mind if we ask who _you_ are?"

"Bridget Galloway," the woman replied in a strong southern accent as she gripped his hand and shook it, "But you can call me John."

Now it was Bo's turn to say, "Uh…"

She smiled at the two bumbling men and told them, "Just a joke, so…" she paused and widened her eyes in a wordless hint to go on with whatever they were going to say, but they didn't so she tried a blunter approach, "What can I do for you?"

"Uh," Luke blinked his eyes and got his brain working again and asked her, "Were you aware that a little while back you passed us on the road doing about 110 miles an hour?"

"Oh that was you guys?" she asked nonchalantly, "I wondered who was in the only other car on this road."

"Yeah but here's the thing," Luke said, " _We_ are heading back to Hazzard County…where're _you_ heading?"

Bridget shrugged and replied, "Just wherever I suppose."

"Uh huh," Luke replied in a dumbstruck tone, "And…what're you doing here?"

"I," Bridget reached into the open window of the car and pulled out a six-pack of beer, technically a five pack because she still had the first and open one in her hand, "Am having a beer, and listening to Roy Clark on my radio, who never picked cotton. Exactly what business is that of yours?"

"Just wondering," Bo said, "Are you…heading to Hazzard County?"

"Well if that's where this road leads then I guess I must be," Bridget told them.

Luke just _knew_ that he knew the answer but he couldn't resist asking, "Are you from there?"

"Nope," she answered.

"You know anyone there?"

"Nope."

"Why're you going then?" Bo couldn't resist asking.

She just shrugged and asked in response, "Why not?"

"Well I can think of _one_ reason why not," Luke half murmured to Bo.

"So… _where_ are you from?" Bo asked.

"Lots of different places," she answered as if it was the most natural answer in the world.

The two cousins looked at each other and it started to occur to both of them that something didn't seem quite right with this woman. Bo grabbed her beer and asked her, "How much of this stuff have you had this morning?" He sniffed it on the suspicion that maybe she'd self-spiked it with a second choice of alcoholic beverage.

Bridget put her hands on her hips and laughed at them and said, "You boys don't travel much, do you?"

Luke looked at her and said simply, "No, Miss, we don't," figuring it was easier than telling the full truth. As it was, they were already risking getting busted for a probation violation on account of being out of the county as long as they had in the time it took to do their job that morning.

"Yeah well sometimes," she told the two of them, "You just gotta go wherever that winding road takes you."

Bo leaned over towards Luke and murmured to him, "And she just _had_ to pick the one that's going to lead straight to Boss Hogg, _she_ gonna be in for a rude surprise."

Bridget looked at the two of them like they were nuts and asked them, "What in the _world_ is a boss hog?"

"You keep going down this road and you'll find out," Luke told her.

"And you'll wish you didn't," Bo added.

"Well if you guys live there, it can't be _too_ bad, can it?" Bridget asked.

"Good point," Bo looked towards Luke.

"If you want to come, go right ahead, but I'm just telling you now," Luke advised Bridget, "It's probably going to be very different from anything you're used to."

"Well it sounds like a plan to me," Bridget said, and nodded her head in the direction they were going, "You lead."

"If you insist," Luke started to turn back towards the General Lee, but turned back towards Bridget and said to her, "Oh, by the way, do you happen to have a CB radio in your car?"

She didn't answer, and acted like she hadn't heard him at all, instead her attention was turned to a streak of dirt on the side of the car.

"Something the matter?" he asked.

There was still no response.

"HEY!"

Bridget turned around and looked at them like she didn't get what the big deal was, and said point blank, "I'm a bit deaf in this ear today," and pointed to her right ear, "I'm afraid you'll have to speak up a bit _louder_."

" _Do_ you have a CB radio in that car?" Luke asked in a raised voice.

"Sho' do," she replied.

"What's your handle?" he asked.

Bridget shrugged and answered, "Don't have one yet, I just got it."

"Well until you do, you might want to switch it off," Luke advised her, "We could hear you when you caught up to us."

"Heard _me_?" Bridget asked in a surprised tone.

"The car radio," Bo said, "You _did_ have it on earlier, right?"

"Yup," she answered with an amused grin, "I just _love_ the music you get on the stations out here, don't you?"

The Dukes looked at each other again and then back to her and Bo suggested, "Maybe one of us ought to ride with you." He still wasn't sure that their new friend wasn't on something that might fully kick in when they got back on the road. He couldn't put his finger on it but there definitely seemed to be something _off_ about this girl, and he wasn't sure it would be a good idea her behind the wheel in town going 100 miles an hour and maybe suddenly pass out.

"If that's what you want to do, it's fine with me," Bridget said.

"You mind if I drive?" he asked.

"Not at all," she fished into her jean pocket and told him, "Here're the keys."

"Alright, let's go," Luke told his cousin.


	2. Chapter 2

"This sure is nice of you guys to give me an escort into town," Bridget told Bo during the drive into Hazzard County, "Maybe you boys can show me around a bit."

"We may just do that," he replied, "So where did you say you're from?"

"I didn't," she answered, and giggled, "My family's moved around a lot so it doesn't seem to do to put any roots any place particular."

Bo glanced over at her and inquired, "You a military family?"

"Not hardly," she answered after she chugged down more of her beer, "Just restless."

"Yeah," he returned his attention to the road, "I guess I could understand that."

"So that guy…" Bridge pointed behind them to where the General Lee was tailing them, "Your…brother?"

"Cousin."

"Makes sense, you two don't look anything alike…but then who does?" Bridget asked, "He was saying you two guys ain't done much traveling?"

"Not exactly."

"Gid-oudda-here," Bridget said, "With a car like that? A…what is that, anyway?"

"A Dodge Charger."

"I thought so," she replied, "How're you gonna have a nice car like that and not go nowheres with it?"

"We go plenty of places with it," Bo explained, "Just most of them are right around here."

"Why?" Bridget asked.

"It's a _long_ story," Bo told her.

Bridget put her cowboy boots up on the dashboard and leaned back in her seat and said off-handedly, "Maybe I got the time."

Bo didn't pay much attention to what she said, then the next thing he knew, he looked over and saw the woman had her head tilted back and had fallen asleep with a beer in her hand. He was _real_ glad now he'd offered to drive this car, he could _just_ picture the crash that would've ensued if this woman had been driving and conked out. He hit the brakes and the car squealed as it swerved to a stop, the combination of the noise and the sudden jolt knocked Bridget back into consciousness with a pronounced snort and a sudden exclamation of, "I can see the road…oh!" she realized she was the passenger and not the driver and pressed her beer between her knees so her hands were free to rub her eyes, "What happened?"

Instead of actually answering, Bo inquired, "You been driving long?"

"Since I was 16," she answered.

"I mean you' been driving all night?" he asked as he kept one eye alternating between the road ahead of him, and the mirror to see Luke behind him.

"Part of it," she answered plainly, "The road waits for nobody. Get a chance to travel it, you just gotta take it."

"Where you traveling _from_?" Bo inquired.

"Well to tell you the truth on that one, I reckon I've been going in circles for a while," Bridget answered, "I've been to about every major city in the state and plenty of minor ones as well, and I gotta say after a while they all start to look the same, the roads look the same, the places look the same, the _people_ look the same, even the food tastes the same. So I figured before I burnt out completely, wherever I wound up next I might just stop and take a break, collect my senses and all that." She pulled a second beer off the six-pack and held it out to him, "Want one?"

"No thanks," Bo replied, still not sure whether to attribute this woman's off color behavior to exhaustion from being on the road so long, or the possibility she might be on some drugs, _or_ maybe she was just plain loony.

Her only response was a shrug of the shoulders and popped the pull tab back and started chugging the new can.

"Well, here we are," Bo told her, "Hazzard County."

Bridget watched the sign announcing entry into the county as they passed by it and she said to Bo, "So this where you guys live?"

"Yep," he answered.

"Lived here long?" she asked.

"Pretty much all our lives," Bo answered.

"You don't say," Bridget replied, "Is it nice?"

He thought about it and nodded his head, "Yeah, nice, usually kind of quiet, not a _whole_ lot of excitement going on around here…just mainly a lot of nice, decent folk, living decent lives. We live on our Uncle Jesse's farm with him and our cousin Daisy."

"So what's this boss hog you guys was talking about?" Bridget asked him out of the blue, "That some new breed of pig or something? Do you get more bacon off of it?"

Bo got out a small snort and wasn't quite sure how to respond to that at first, then he told her, "It's not a what, it's a _who_ , at least I _think_."

"Huh?"

"It's a guy," Bo said, "Or…close to one anyway."

Bridget scratched the edge of one eyebrow and asked him, "Hog the first or last name?"

"Last."

"So his mama named him Boss when he was born?" she asked.

"I doubt it," Bo replied with a small chuckle.

Bridget turned her attention to the scenery passing by the window on her side and suddenly she yelled at Bo, "Stop! Stop the car."

Bo hit the brakes and they squealed to an immediate stop, "What is it?"

Bridget was pointing across the street to a small store and told him, "I need to get a pack of smokes, I'll be right back. Here, hold my beer," she handed her half empty can to him and reached for the door handle on her side.

"No problem," Bo replied, taken slightly aback. He leaned back in the driver's seat and saw Luke had stopped right behind him.

Luke climbed out of the window of the General Lee and walked over to the Camaro and asked Bo, "Well, what do you make of it?"

In the 30 seconds Bridget had been in the general store, Bo had set the beer can aside and ransacked the glove box, obviously looking for something, he closed the door and told Luke, "Something weird's going on here."

"What's the matter?" Luke asked.

"No registration," Bo said, "Now I thought when she said she _just_ got it, she meant the radio."

Luke's eyebrows knitted together as he said questioningly, "Maybe she meant the car."

"I don't know," Bo told his cousin as he started getting a better look at the dashboard, "Something about her strikes me as weird."

"Maybe because she's the first girl _in_ this county that you're not going stupid head over heels for," Luke teased his cousin.

Bo ignored most of his comment and just replied, "I don't know, something don't seem quite right."

* * *

Bridget got a pack of cigarettes and a cheap lighter and was setting foot outside of the store and getting ready to light up when she saw the Duke boys standing by her car and talking, and though she couldn't make out what they were saying, they sounded very ominous. Fortunately for her, they didn't look her way, so she quickly stepped around the corner and went around to the back of the store, and saw across from it were several other buildings that seemed to be frequented based on the number of cars parked out back, including one car that stuck out like a drunk at a church revival. A large white Cadillac De Ville convertible with steer horns on the front. Bridget took the cigarette out of her mouth, pushed it back down into the pack, pocketed it, pocketed the lighter, and went over to the car to get a better look at it.

After going around it a time or two to get the full view of the behemoth, and looking towards the buildings to make sure nobody was coming out the back exits, she looked around and saw some large galvanized trash cans back behind the general store. Sauntering over, she sorted through the rubbish and found something that she decided she was looking for, a discarded two-by-four that had some wear in it but she decided it would work just the same. Grabbing one end of it like a baseball bat and slinging it over her shoulder, Bridget skedaddled back over to the Cadillac and swung back and smashed out one side of the headlights. Then when the glass scattered on the ground, she went over to the other side, swung again, and knocked out that light as well. Then she raised the board to get a more natural aim and swung even harder and knocked the windshield clear out and the glass fell like rain from the sky. With that, she chucked the board and went back the way she came. Just before she turned the corner though, the door opened to one of the buildings across the street and Rosco P. Coltrane came out to investigate the noise and first saw Boss Hogg's car smashed to bits, and at the last second caught glimpse of a tall guy with blonde hair turning the corner.

"Hey you!" he called, "Stop! In the name of the law!"

But it didn't happen, so Rosco started to chase after the guy, only to have his attention diverted by his boss's voice calling out the door, so he turned around and scrambled to get to Boss Hogg and explain to him what had happened first, _then_ chase down the vermin responsible for the vandalism.

Upon seeing what had become of his car, the cigar fell out of Boss Hogg's mouth as his jaw dropped, his eyes widened, his hands curled, and he looked like he'd just seen a ghost, and he tried to holler but all that came out was a series of choked grunts and stammering.

"AHH! M-ma-my-my-ooh! MY CAR!" he finally managed to get out, "Wha-wha-wha—WHO did this?"

"I don't know, Boss," Rosco said, "But I _think_ it's them Duke boys again."

Boss Hogg's eyes widened even further and his jaw dropped again as he started stammering, "Da-du-du-de-THE DUKES? The Dukes did… _that_! to…m-ma-my CAR? I'll _kill_ 'em!"

"I'd swear as I came out I caught a glimpse of Bo Duke going 'round the corner there," Rosco explained.

Boss Hogg glared at Rosco and told him, "Well don't just _stand_ there you big dummy, _go_ get 'em!"

"Yes sir, Boss!" Rosco started running, but before he could round the corner, Boss Hogg was calling to him again.

"Rosco, ain't you forgetting something?"

Rosco turned back around and asked, "What's that, sir?"

Boss Hogg looked at the sheriff like he was the stupidest man alive, and right now he was pretty sure that he was, and asked him, "Where's _your_ car?"

"My car, it's…" Rosco looked around and realized it wasn't there.

"It's official, I'm surrounded by _morons_ ," Boss Hogg said.

"I know it was right here, Boss," Rosco told him, and went over to an empty spot, "I left it right here."

Boss walked over to the area and looked up and asked Rosco, "Right here in this here 'No Parking' spot?"

Rosco looked up and saw the sign and groaned, but he wasn't ready to admit defeat. "Boss, I _know_ that wasn't there before…I'll bet you them Dukes did this and had Cooter tow it away."

"Well then, Rosco," Boss Hogg told him, "You're just gonna have to get on over to Cooter's garage and _get_ it, aren't you?"

* * *

Bridget hadn't stuck around to hear the fireworks. She went back around to the front of the store, and now didn't see the Dukes anywhere; so she took back out the pack of smokes, took out the same cigarette she had earlier, stuck it in her mouth and was just getting it lit when Bo and Luke came out of the store.

"Where were you?" Luke asked her.

Bridget looked at the two men dumbstruck and said nonchalantly, "I went around the corner for a smoke…"

Luke stared her down and noted, "Looks new to me."

"Cheap lighter," Bridget used as her defense as she finally got it to spark to life.

"We waited for ten minutes," Luke said, "You said you'd be right back."

Bridget looked surprised at their behavior and said dismissively, "I'm sorry," like she didn't really get what the big deal was.

"We just took the whole store apart looking for you," Bo told her, "We thought something had happened."

"Something like what?" Bridget asked.

There was a slight pause before Bo answered, "Nothing, never mind," deciding it was better _not_ to right away get into what kind of antics were bound to happen in Hazzard County with the likes of Boss Hogg pulling the strings on everybody.

"I'm sorry, Luke," she said.

"Bo."

"Sorry," she replied, "I'm terrible with names."

"Well now that that's settled," Luke said to her, "Would you like us to give you that tour of Hazzard County?"

"Sounds good to me," Bridget told them, "Let's get out of here."

"You mind if I drive us?" Bo asked.

"Not at all," Bridget said, then dropped her cigarette and crushed it under the pointed toe of her boot.

* * *

As it turned out, Rosco didn't have to go to Cooter's garage to find his car. In fact it turned out that _whoever_ took it had merely released the brake and rolled it down the back alley a block down from where he'd left it. Not exactly the Dukes' trademark touch, so Rosco was willing to write _that_ off as just being some reckless kids out for a laugh. But Boss Hogg's car, that was another matter altogether, there were only two people in the whole county who might have the nerve and lack the brain to smash up the Boss's car, but even Rosco would've never guessed they had it in them, especially not in the bold faced light of day. He got in his car and took it around to the main street and got there just in time to see a red car take off in a blur, much like the General Lee when the Duke boys drove it, and in the midst of the takeoff it offered Rosco only the slimmest of glances at the same blonde in the passenger seat of the car that he'd seen five minutes ago.

Dumbfounded by what was going on, Rosco got on his radio to Boss Hogg and told him, "The Dukes just left, Boss, but they ain't in the General Lee…looks like some kind of red sporty car…" he thought about something and added, "And it looks like Bo got a haircut."

Boss Hogg's voice crackled back over the radio, "I don't _care_ if he got his hair cut, _get those Dukes_. I'm going to put them away for _sure_ this time."

"You got it, Boss, I'm _on_ it," Rosco said, and signed off, and hit the gas.

Unfortunately for Rosco, he was going too fast to pay attention to what was going on ahead of him and smashed into the front of the car that he automatically knew on sight belonged to the Baptist preacher.

"Oh my Lord," Roscoe groaned when he realized the fix he was in now.

* * *

"This sho' is nice of you guys to give me a tour of your homeland," Bridget said to Bo during the drive, who thus far had yet to say a single word, "Must be nice out here…not all big and complicated like cities, eh?" she looked out the window and saw the scenery they were passing by and added, "Gotta admit though, don't seem to be too much to do out here…got about six blocks of houses and businesses, and then five miles of woods and ponds..."

Bridget turned and looked at Bo and saw that his eyes stared straight ahead at the road and his face was largely unreadable except for a slight curl of the edge of his mouth that looked like he might start growling.

"What's the matter?" Bridget asked.

Bo glanced at her, then looked out the back window, and turned off to the side, stopping the car outside of all the trees and instead over by a cliff overlooking yet another pond about 30 feet below. Behind them, the General Lee also came to a sudden stop, and Luke got out of the car and walked over to the Camaro.

"What's going on?" Bridget asked uncertainly.

Luke leaned in the window on her side and said to her, "You want to step out of the car and keep your hands where we can see them, please?"

"What's this about?" Bridget asked.

Instead of answering, Luke opened the door for her. Deciding to go along with the gag, Bridget slid over and out and put her hands up high. Bo slid out right behind her.

"What's in the trunk?" Bo asked.

"What's that matter?" she asked.

But Bo had the keys, so he went around to the back to pop it open himself.

"What're you hauling?" Luke asked Bridget.

"Who says I'm hauling anything?" she asked.

"You did," Bo answered, "Only one reason I can think of why somebody who _just_ lit a cigarette would put it out _before_ getting into their car instead of taking it with them."

"Because there's something in the car that might go off," Luke told her, "What is it?"

Bo got the trunk open and answered with a sudden, "Hot damn!"

"What is it?" Luke stepped past Bridget to see for himself.

The answer was enough to draw an impressed whistle out of him as he saw the trunk of the car was stuffed full of bottle rockets, Roman candles, cherry bombs, M-80s and smoke flares.

"What do you think, Luke?" Bo asked, "Must be about $500 worth of fireworks here."

"Enough to keep the skies lit up for a week," Luke turned to Bridget, "But this ain't the 4th of July."

"You got something against fireworks?" Bridget asked nonchalantly.

"No, except they're out of season and happen to be illegal," Luke said.

"They's _only_ illegal if I _use_ or sell them before the holiday," she answered, "Which I'm not. Besides, it's really _only_ illegal _if_ I get caught, and I never get caught."

Bo looked to his cousin and asked him, "What do you think, Luke?"

"I think there's more to it than we're seeing," Luke told him, "Let's get this stuff out and see what _else_ is in here."

"Oh really!" Bridget folded her arms against her chest and looked put out.

The two Dukes made quick work of digging out the sky rockets and artillery shells and firecrackers, and found that there _was_ in fact something more hiding in the trunk. Duke reached in under the remaining fireworks and pulled out a 12 gauge pump action shotgun, and one of the biggest ones he'd ever seen.

"What the _hell_ is this?" he asked Bridget.

"Looks like a probation violation of the greatest dimension to me," they heard from behind them.

All three of them spun around and saw Rosco standing in front of his slightly mangled police car, his gun drawn on them and a big smirk on his face followed by his telltale 'coo coo' sounds.

Rosco stood with his feet shoulder length apart, both hands curled around his Smith and Wesson revolver, aimed right at the Dukes, and he was practically choking on his 'coo coo' sounds, he was also practically grinning from ear to ear as he said excitedly, "I got you Dukes this time, I _finally_ got you! You ain't getting out of this one!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Who's this?" Bridget asked Luke.

"That's the sheriff," Luke answered, and reached over and grabbed her hands and told her, "Get those up, higher."

Roscoe was beaming from ear to ear as he commented, "The Duke boys caught red handed in possession of a firearm, I'll just bet we get a life sentence for both of you this time."

"Now wait just _one_ damn minute," Bridget put her hands down.

Luke elbowed her sharply to shut her up, not wanting things to get any worse than they already were, "Now look, Rosco…"

"No, _you_ look, Mr. Luke Duke," Rosco told him as he advanced on the three of them, "Your plea bargain agreement was that you and Bo wouldn't leave Hazzard County, _and_ that neither of you were permitted to use firearms, looks like the mother of all violations right here. I'm sure Boss Hogg will be pleased with this, especially after what you did to him this morning."

"We didn't do anything to him," Bo said, "We weren't even here…"

Luke elbowed his cousin in like to shut him up as well. Things were bad enough without incriminating themselves in leaving the county line.

"How'd you find us, Rosco?" Luke asked.

The sheriff grinned and replied, "You kidding, Luke? You think after all the years I've chased you around this county that you're the only one that knows all the ins and outs of these wide open spaces?" he gestured with his gun and told all three of them, "Get in the car."

"Do we have a choice?" Bridget asked Luke.

They did, but Luke would only prefer taking it if they didn't have an innocent bystander in the way. He knew Rosco didn't have it in him to actually harm anyone, but he _did_ keep his gun loaded, and anytime you got a power hungry man with a loaded gun, there were always risks, it would be _just_ their luck _this_ time Rosco would inadvertently hit a target, and Luke knew if anything would go wrong, Rosco wouldn't be able to live with himself knowing he shot someone, least of all a woman who was a stranger in their town. They could let him take them in now and figure out an escape later, it wouldn't be their first time.

"No," he answered, "Everybody assume the position," and raised his hands high over his head. Bo and Bridget did the same in like.

"Now," Rosco started to say, but did a double take at the third party and asked, "Who's this?"

Bo decided to take a shot and suggested jokingly, "One of our cuter guy friends?"

"Alright, Rosco, we're coming, just don't shoot," Luke said.

"Just get in the car and I _won't_ ," he replied.

* * *

Of all the things nobody could ever say about Rosco, being too intelligent took the top of the list. He'd hauled Bridget and the Dukes in, but he'd only booked Bo and Luke and put them in a holding cell; thus far he hadn't put it together that Bridget was just as involved as they were. Instead somehow he'd gotten it in his head, once he'd found out she was a woman and realized she'd been the one he'd seen earlier, that the Dukes had kidnapped her, stolen her car and forced her along for the ride, and that the shotgun and whatever else was in the car had belonged to the boys.

"I don't care if you _are_ the sheriff around here, you're an idiot," Bridget told Rosco, "They didn't do anything."

"Ma'am, I can understand what you've been through," Rosco told her, "I've been catching up on all the new findings in kidnapping victims' psy-chol-ogy. This here is what they call that Stockholm Syndrome."

"WHAT?" all three of them asked.

Bridget waved towards the two guys in the cell and said, "Hey uh…Bo?"

"Luke," he answered.

"Sorry," Bridget replied, "Exactly _what_ is the qualification for being sheriff 'round here? Is tying your shoelaces a major accomplishment on the test?"

"I'm starting to wonder," Luke answered deadpanned.

"Me too," Bo added.

"Ma'am, if you'll just sit down over here, I can take your statement," Rosco told her.

"Oh I _got_ a statement for you," she replied as she sat down in Rosco's chair at his desk.

"Uh ma'am, over _here_ ," Rosco pointed to the other chair in front of the desk.

Bridget ignored him, prompting Roscoe to repeat himself, and again, louder this time. The third time he yelled it loud enough to get her attention, she turned her head and told him as she pointed to her right ear, "I'm a bit deaf in this ear today, I'm afraid you'll have to speak up a little _louder_. Especially them here that be chronic _mumblers_."

"Miss, would you mind sitting over _here_?" Rosco spoke up.

Bridget looked at him deadpanned and asked, "Why? Don't you believe me _sitting here_?"

Bo and Luke looked at each other and tried not to laugh at that, but it was hard because it came out of nowhere and they couldn't tell if she was just being stubborn and giving Rosco the runaround or if she was that simple minded when you got down to the bottom of it all.

But Rosco wasn't having it and he had Bridget get up and move over to the other chair. Once they'd each sat down respectively, Bridget leaned over the desk and asked him as if she were seeing a psychiatrist instead of speaking to the county sheriff, "So, _what's_ wrong with me?"

"Well, you see…" Rosco started to answer, then realized what was happening and he became very serious and yelled at her, " _Get up_!"

Bridget hopped out of the chair and expected Rosco to do the same but he remained seated and rolled a piece of paper through his typewriter, "Now, what's your name?"

"Why, you want a date?" she asked.

"Ma'am, your name."

She paused for a minute before answering, "Jewel Franklin."

Bo and Luke looked at each other, neither said a word but both knew they were thinking the same thing.

Rosco punched the keys to the typewriter and said, "Alright, Miss, now suppose you tell me what happened? How exactly did you happen to come across these…" he gestured to the Duke boys behind the bars, "Lowlife criminals?"

That got a few remarks out of the two cousins who gripped the bars like they could rip them off the door.

"Well if you'll stand up, Sheriff, I'll be very glad to show you," Bridget told him.

"Alrighty then," Rosco said, and did.

The two cousins looked at each other again, wondering what was going to happen now.

"Alright," Bridget told Rosco, "Now, I'll be me, you be the Dukes."

"Okay," Rosco said.

"Alright," Bridget said, and lunged at him and said, "Now I'm coming towards you."

"Right," Rosco said.

"I'm coming _right_ at you," Bridget said as she leered towards him.

"Right," Rosco said.

Bridget suddenly lunged at him again and in this instant, relieved him of his sidearm and held it on him.

"Alright, Sheriff, grab the sky," she told him.

Dumbstruck, Rosco complied. Bo and Luke's eyes doubled in size at what they just saw and the way things were unfolding now.

"Alright, Sheriff," Bridget said, "Now I apologize for this, but will you get the key to open that cell door?"

Rosco was in such shock that he didn't even hear her, when he finally found his voice, all he could get out was a little squeak of, "Eh?"

"Get the key," Bridget told him again.

This time he heard her, and he did as she said.

"Alright, open the door," Bridget said.

Rosco looked at the cell and then back at her and shook his head, "Ma'am I can't…"

"Do it," she advised him firmly.

Rosco sputtered and stammered as he got the ring of keys and found the right one for the cell door, he looked at the Dukes and warned them, "Watch your fingers."

They each let go of the bars and took a step back as he unlocked the door. Luke grabbed the bars and slid the door open.

"Come on, guys," Bridget said, and as they slowly walked out of the cell, she kept Rosco's gun aimed at him and told him, "Get in."

"Oh now wait a minute, see here!" Rosco started to say.

"Rosco," Luke said to him, "I don't think it's a good idea to argue with somebody who's holding you at gunpoint, especially with your _own_ gun."

Even Rosco had to admit there was a point in there, much as it killed him. He raised his hands and slowly backed into the cell, Luke pulled the door shut and locked it.

"Alright," Bridget said slowly, and now told Luke, "Put the keys back." She went over to where Rosco had printed the Dukes and grabbed the two sheets of fingerprints that hadn't been processed yet and ripped them up. Rosco just gripped the bars and groaned at seeing this opportunity of a lifetime to lock the Dukes up, falling to pieces around him.

"Okay, let's go," she said to them, and then to Rosco she said again, "Sheriff, I _do_ apologize."

"Yeah, sorry, Rosco!" Bo called back to the lawman as they hightailed it out of there.

The three of them ran out of the police station and piled into Rosco's police car and peeled out of there.

"Very ingenuous, Bridget…" Luke looked over at her suspiciously and asked, "Or should we call you Jewel Franklin?"

Bridget looked at the two cousins who both looked like she'd just sprouted horns and a tail and she said to them, "Oh come on, you didn't _really_ think I'd be dumb enough to give a cop my _real_ name, do you?"

"Well, there's a point in that," Bo conceded.

"What was that moron going on about, about probation?" Bridget asked them, "Are you guys really on probation?"

"For _life_ ," Luke answered.

"What for?" she wanted to know.

"It's a long story," he told her.

"Then I guess I was right," Bridget said to Bo, "I _told_ you I had the time. So, what's going on?"

"Well…"

* * *

Luke pulled Rosco's car up over beside the red car and the General Lee and cut off the engine. They'd come back to get their car, they'd return Rosco's car to the station in a little bit. But first they had some unfinished business to tend to. Evidently though, Bridget wasn't aware of this fact; this was the first time she got to actually get a good look at the General Lee and she was in awe when she saw it.

"Man that is _so_ cool, I especially love this," she said as she ran her hand over the Rebel flag on the top, "I ought to have one of these put on my car." She looked back to the Dukes and asked them, "How far did that kind of custom job set you back?"

Luke went over to Bridget and asked her in a very no-nonsense tone, "Alright, now what's going on around here?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Don't play dumb with us," Luke said and pointed back to the Camaro, "That's not your car, is it?"

Bridget looked over towards it and sheepishly shifted the expression on her face and said, "We-e-e-e-e-ll…"

"Yeah?" Bo asked.

Bridget shook her head, "Nah."

"Is that stuff in the back yours?" Luke asked.

"Nope," she shook her head.

"Then whose is it?" Bo asked.

"Beats me," Bridget said, "I traded my car in at some lot in a _real_ hick town about 200 miles back, first time I open this one up to check for a spare tire, I find instead I've got enough arsenal to blow open Fort Knox. Somehow the dealer forgot to mention that, _or_ empty it out."

"And they conveniently forgot to hand over the registration," Luke noted.

Bridget shrugged and said simply, "So I ain't the brightest bulb. Least when the 4th of July _does_ come around, I'll be ready."

"Well Miss Galloway it's been interesting, but I'd advise you to turn that car around and get out of Hazzard County as fast as you can, you'd be much better off if Rosco Coltrane forgets about you."

Bridget looked at them oddly, "What about you guys?"

"What about us?" Bo asked.

"He'll put you guys back in jail, won't he?" she asked.

"He always tries," Bo answered.

"If I stay I could clear the whole thing up, if I go I can't clear you guys on the gun charge," Bridget said.

"If you stay he's going to put _you_ in jail for a whole mess of charges that you _did_ commit," Luke pointed out, "Including theft of a lawman's gun, _give_ me that," he took the Smith and Wesson back from her and gave it to Bo and told him, "Go put this in the car."

"Sure, why not?" Bo asked, "You can only get life in prison _once_."

Another idea occurred to Bridget and she said to them, "Why don't you guys come with me? You're already wanted for a probation violation, if you leave the county and don't come back, he can't cross the lines to find you, can he?"

"We can't do that," Luke said.

"Why not? You could go somewhere they don't know you, start fresh, get away from _that_ moron," Bridget said.

"We can't do it," Bo said as he came back, "Our whole lives are here, our family, besides, if we weren't here, there wouldn't be anybody to help out everyone else when Boss Hogg started cheating them out of their money and their homes."

"Well you're better men than I am," Bridget said, and added, "I guess I'm lucky I never had any roots to put down, don't have to feel loyal to _any_ place, or any _one_." Her demeanor changed to a slightly more upbeat one and said, "Well, thanks for showing me around anyway, it's been a blast. I'm sorry I got you guys into so much trouble."

"Trouble is our middle name," Bo told her as they hugged goodbye, "We always figure a way around Rosco."

"I hope you do," Bridget said. She took the pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and said, "I'm gonna take it easy and have a smoke for a couple minutes, then I'm getting out of here."

Luke thought of something and asked her, "If all that stuff's in the _trunk_ , why'd you put the first one out before you got in?"

"Don't like ashes getting on the upholstery," Bridget said over the Marlboro in her mouth as she lit it, "I may be a stupid hick but I'm _not_ a slob."

Luke and Bo looked at each other and Bo smacked himself on the side of the head.

"Bo, when they were handing out the brains in this family, you must've been standing in line with a sieve," Luke said.

"So I was wrong, but I was still right, wasn't I?"

"I suppose so," Luke grumbled, "Let's get home, Uncle Jesse's going to start wondering where we are."

"First we gotta get Rosco's car back," Bo said.

"Oh right," Luke said, "I'll take it, you take the General Lee."

"Right," Bo went over to their car and jumped in through the window.

"Ever hear of a door?" Bridget asked Luke sarcastically.

"Yeah, that's why we don't use them," he answered without missing a beat, "Take care of yourself."

"Bye," she waved him off as he went over to the sheriff's car and got in.

Bridget stood by her car and watched as the Dukes got in their cars, revved up the engines and sped out of there, first Luke in the sheriff's car, then Bo in their car, letting out a long and loud "YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAW!" in the process.

"Yee-haw," Bridget repeated mockingly, "Why not?"

She inhaled the majority of the smoke off her cigarette in one long breath, let it out in one equally long exhale, dropped the remainder of the cigarette on the ground, stomped it out, then got back in her car, and also turned around and went back the way they'd come.


	4. Chapter 4

"You boys got _some_ nerve coming back here!" Rosco told Bo and Luke as they entered the room.

"Gee, Rosco, is that like 'thank you for coming back and getting me out'?" Bo asked.

"What?" Rosco asked.

Luke picked up the keys to the cell and dangled them like a carrot, "Since you don't have a deputy here right now, who _knows_ how long you'd be in here if we didn't come back?

Rosco was dumbstruck, "You're really gonna let me out of here?"

"Sure," Luke answered, " _Once_ we reach an agreement."

Rosco glared at him, "An agreement about what?"

"Well first of all," Luke said, "This whole ugly incident _never_ happened…we were never here, you were never locked up, your gun never got stolen, it's in your car by the way, you're welcome."

"We were never arrested," Bo added.

"And that woman who calls herself Jewel Franklin was never here," Luke concluded, "Are we understood, Rosco?"

"And that means once this door opens, you can't come after us for anything that happened today because nothing _did_ happen today," Bo threw in, "Or it's no deal and we leave you here."

It was obvious from the look on Rosco's face and the small noises under his breath that he resented being put in this position, but he knew there wasn't any alternative. "Alright," he huffed, "You got a deal, now _get me out of here_!"

Luke unlocked the cell door and slid it open.

" _One_ more thing, Rosco," Luke said as the sheriff stepped out, " _What_ happened with Boss Hogg?"

"What?"

"You said something happened earlier today? We haven't seen him all day," Luke said, "Whatever it is, we didn't do it _this_ time."

"But that's impossible," Rosco told them, "Who else would…would…"

"Would what?" the cousins asked.

"Somebody smashed the Boss's car to smithereens late this morning," Rosco explained, "Busted the headlights and took the windshield clear out."

"Huh," Luke said.

"I admire their restraint," Bo added.

Rosco looked at them and asked earnestly, "You boys wasn't pulling my leg, you mean you really _didn't_ do it?"

"No," Luke answered, "If we find out who did, I want to buy him a drink."

"But if _you_ guys didn't do it, _who_ did?" Rosco asked.

"Well you know, Rosco, the truth is Boss Hogg is _not_ a very popular figure in these parts," Luke said, "It could be…"

"Anybody," Bo said.

"Oh this is awful," Rosco said as he sat down at his desk, "What am I gonna tell Boss?"

* * *

"You know it really _don't_ make sense," Bo told Daisy and Uncle Jesse later that afternoon when they got back to the farm, "Why would somebody smash up Boss Hogg's car _now_ all of a sudden? How many years has he been running every crooked scheme in this county and nobody ever did anything before."

"Maybe somebody just got fed up," Daisy suggested, "Everybody's got a breaking point."

"If that were the case though," Luke said, "They should've trashed the whole car, a broken windshield and busted headlights can be replaced in two days."

"You think maybe somebody was trying to send a message to J.D.," Uncle Jesse didn't ask, he stated.

"Seems that way to me," Luke said, "But I can't think what the message would be. Who hates Boss Hogg enough to actually smash up that eyesore car of his?"

Four hands all went up, but Jesse maintained being the voice of reason and asked, "But who here has the self control _not_ to, tempting though it would be?", and all four hands went down.

"Let's face it, everybody hates Boss Hogg but the difference is most people are afraid of him," Bo said, "So the question is…who _ain't_ afraid?"

"Well," Jesse suggested, "In this case I'd say either somebody really stupid…or someone really smart."

"Smart enough not to get caught anyway," Luke noted, "That's a good trick in itself the way he's got eyes all over this county." A new idea came to him and he let the others know what he was thinking. "I wonder if maybe one of the crooks he's teamed up with in the past has come back looking for revenge."

"If that's the case," Jesse said, "J.D. can't make a list of suspects _long_ enough, he's as crooked as the day is long."

"I thought he was as crooked as his stomach is wide," Bo murmured to Luke and Daisy under his breath, drawing a small laugh from Daisy.

"Well," Jesse decided, "If it turns out he _would_ be needing any help, we'll give it to him. After all, we don't want anything happening to J.D., it'd be just our luck we'd get somebody to replace him that's even _worse_."

"Is that even possible?" Bo asked.

Daisy's choice of response was a mere, "Truth _is_ stranger than fiction."

"Speaking of which," Luke said in a low tone so only Bo could hear, "I wonder what happened to that woman we ran into this morning?"

"Why?" Bo asked.

Luke shook his head and explained, "I just hope she doesn't come back here, Rosco would have her locked up in a heartbeat if he ever got the chance."

* * *

"Well, Boss, it's like this," Rosco was rehearsing how he was going to explain everything to Boss Hogg during his drive to see the man. Bad news like he had wasn't something that could be explained on the phone _or_ the radio. "Uh, Boss, what happened was this…no…oh he ain't gonna believe this one no matter _what_."

Out of nowhere a car came speeding around from the corner and shot past Rosco like a bat out of hell, leaving only a dust cloud behind and a long, "YEEEEE-HAAAAW" hanging in the air.

"Wa-ha!" Rosco exclaimed as he swerved and wound up doing a doughnut in the middle of the road. Then once he came back around, he repeated, "Yee-haw?" and a second later came to the conclusion, "The Dukes! I should've known!" and he buried the accelerator to the floor in pursuit of the car that passed him.

It took a couple minutes for Rosco to catch up enough to get the car in his sight, but when he did, he floored his car to 80 and was right on the other car's tail. But just as it seemed he was going to catch up with the driver, the red car sped up and left him in the dust again. But Roscoe was persistent and kept up the chase, and in fact he kept it up for about 50 twists and turns and swerves for a couple miles. Just when it seemed this could go on forever, the red car made a sharp turn and before Rosco could do the same, he saw something get tossed out of the driver's side window that came flying back towards his car. Then there was a loud BANG as a cherry bomb exploded and it took him enough by surprise he swerved the wrong way and went off the road _just_ in time to drive up a makeshift ramp somebody had been building on their property, go flying through the air, and crash into a large haystack that practically swallowed his car whole. Once he managed to drive out of it, the entire car was covered with hay, the windshield was busted from the bomb, and it sounded like something in the undercarriage was bent and made a clunk sound every time the tires made a full rotation.

"Those Dukes," he bemoaned, "I'll get them for this!" Boss Hogg was going to have to take a number to get to them.

From there, Rosco was able to follow the tire tracks on the road to figure out which way the car went, and it wasn't long before he found the car he'd been tailing, parked and resting 20 feet away from the lake. Now he had them, now he had those Dukes, they _had_ to be around here somewhere. Rosco got out of his car and went over to the red car and noticed nobody was around, and then looked down and gasped in shock when he saw a pile of clothes resting by the lake. He got as close to the edge as he was comfortable with and picked up the blue men's jeans and guessed, "Suicide!"

Then he looked down again and saw a red shirt, and he picked it up, and realized it was the Rebel flag shirt that that girl in the police station had been wearing. These were _her_ clothes, her jeans, her shirt, her…her…he dropped the whole pile and took a step back. She took off her clothes and drowned herself, that _had_ to be it.

Or _not_ , Rosco suddenly realized when he heard a noise in the water and saw the girl surface in the middle, but only her head and arms so far.

"You there!" he hollered out to her, not sure if she'd be able to hear him.

But she did. Bridget rubbed the water out of her eyes and looked back to the shore and waved to Rosco and hollered back, "Hi Sheriff, did you finally get out of that cell?"

"Miss Franklin!" Rosco started to call out to her, then realized if she was out there and her clothes were up here…a bit more hesitantly he hollered, "Miss Franklin, as an officer of the law I'm ordering you to get up here."

"I'd rather not, Sheriff," Bridget called back.

"I don't care if you'd rather or not, I'm the law in this county and that's an official police order, _get_ up here."

"Okay!" she called back.

She swam over to the shallow edge and stepped up and out of the lake and Rosco was mildly relieved to see she was wearing _something_ , and what that something was was a Rebel flag bikini, damn but that girl was patriotic if nothing else. All the same, in light of everything Rosco felt very uncomfortable seeing her even like that, so he half turned to the side as she walked up to him.

"Sheriff?" she asked smugly.

"Uh…Mis…Miss Franklin…uh, you, you gonna have to p-put your clothes on and come with me."

"Why? This a 'no swimming' zone?" Bridget asked.

"Miss Franklin, please, d-don't make this anymore d-d-difficult than it already is."

"Alright, Sheriff," Bridget replied as she poked one index finger in her ear to try and get it to open up, "I'll come but stop p-p-p-puttering around."

"M-m-m-Miss Franklin," Rosco said, "Are the Dukes here with you?" And he sincerely hoped not, especially since he knew that if _they_ were in that water, it would _not_ be pretty when they came out.

"No," she answered, "I ain't seen them."

Right now, he was willing to believe that.

"Will you put your clothes on, please?" he asked her.

Bridget walked up to him and asked him smugly, "You gonna watch me get dressed or…"

"Uh," he turned away from the 3 miniature flags staring back at him, "I'll be, I'll be, I'll-I'll be, I'll be over _there_."

As he walked away, Bridget called to him, "Whatever it is you want me for, the Dukes aren't involved in any way, you hear me?"

Rosco stopped in his tracks and turned his head so he could be heard and he replied, "I hear and that matter was already resolved."

"It better be," she warned him.

* * *

Once Bridget got dressed, she complied with Rosco and got in his car and he drove her back to the station. He hadn't handcuffed her though, so as soon as they entered the main room, the phone on Rosco's desk rang and Bridget ran over, picked up the receiver and said into it, "Hazzard County Police Department, what's your bellyache?" But she'd put the receiver to her waterlogged ear and couldn't hear anything distinctive, just some angry mumbo jumbo.

"Give me that!" Rosco wrestled the phone away from her and said into the receiver, "Hello?"

"Rosco!" it was Boss Hogg, "What in the Sam hill is going on over there? Did you hire a secretary?"

"No! Uh, no Boss, it's just, it's nothing."

"Well _what_ are you doing with _nothing_ when you're supposed to be rounding up those Dukes and bringing them in for vandalizing my car?"

"W-well you see, Boss, I was on my way over to tell you…"

"Tell me _what_?"

"I d…I d…I d…."

"For heaven's sake, spit it out!"

"I _don't_ think they did it."

" _WHAT_?" it sounded like Boss Hogg was going to come clear through the phone line, "What do you mean 'you don't think they did it'? And when did I ask for _your_ opinion?"

"Sir, with all due respect," Rosco tried to keep his attention on the angry fat man on the other end of the line, but instead he happened to turn and see the woman picking up crumpled pieces of paper from the wastebasket and flinging them across the room like defective handballs, "Cut that out!"

"Cut _what_ out?" Boss Hogg asked.

"Oh not you, Boss, I was just…" Rosco showed greater restraint as the woman dumped the remaining contents of the wastebasket on his head, covering him with shreds of paper and pencil shavings. He let it slide, and said into the phone, "Boss, I grilled them about it and they seemed as surprised as you and me were."

"You and _I_ you imbecile," Boss Hogg replied.

"That's what I said, you and me," Rosco said, "And I don't think it was an act, I think…"

Rosco just about hit the ceiling when he heard a sudden ear pounding ruckus and turned and saw the woman had turned the wastebasket over and was beating it like a conga drum.

" _Rosco_! What the _hell_ is going on over there? Are you _drunk_?" Boss Hogg wanted to know.

"Boss, I…I…" Rosco lost it, "I'll have to call you back, bye!" and slammed down the receiver. Then he advanced on the woman and started to say to her, "Now see here!", but didn't get any further.

As soon as Rosco got in close enough range to Bridget, she knocked his hat off in one swift move and in another rammed the whole wastebasket on over his head.

"Hey! Get me out of here!" was Rosco's muffled exclamation.

"Certainly," Bridget replied, but not before picking up his handcuffs and stuffing them in her pocket.

Rosco had his hands slid under the edge of the wastebasket and was trying to get his head out of it, Bridget also grabbed the edges and shoved with a lot more force so it did come off, but not easily or painlessly. Before Rosco could say anything, Bridget hit him over the head with it and he fell back against his desk. Then while he was stunned, she grabbed one of his wrists and locked it in the handcuffs, and locked the other cuff to his chair, then picked up the keys to the cuffs and pocketed them instead. Rosco slumped over into his chair, more or less unconscious, Bridget used that opportunity to fish the keys to his car out of his pocket, and she showed herself out.

Since it was warm that day, Rosco had taken the liberty of leaving the windows rolled down in his car, so Bridget decided to take a cue from the Dukes, and slipped in through the driver's window, then started the car up, and drove out of there.

* * *

"I think you're being paranoid, Luke," Bo said during their drive to Cooter's garage.

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not," Luke replied, "All I know is right now I don't trust the CB."

"Yeah but who'd want to listen to _us_?" Bo asked.

"Maybe whoever smashed up Boss Hogg's car," Luke suggested, "I still wonder who would…whoa!"

Luke hit the brakes and swerved to avoid colliding with the string of trucks already in the middle of the road that looked like they had trouble. Right up ahead were three large trucks and all of them seemed to be in some form of disarray and the drivers were out sizing up the damage. Bo and Luke climbed out of the General Lee and went over to see what happened; none of the men with the trucks looked familiar to either of the Dukes.

"Was there an accident?" Luke asked.

One of the truckers snorted and told them, "I doubt that very much."

"What happened?" Bo asked.

"I was on my way to Chickasaw County to deliver a load and just as I came up this way, something exploded in the middle of the road. It's a damn miracle we didn't all smash into each other."

Bo and Luke looked to each other and decided to help check out the trucks for any sign of damages to any of the trucks.

"Watcha hauling?" Luke asked.

"Shipment of feed," one driver answered.

"Shipment of eggs," another said.

"Actually," the third told them, "I'm helping out a friend of mine and helping him move his furniture to his new home he just bought in the county. Figured my truck would be easier to haul everything in than tying it in the back of his pickup."

Sounded innocent enough, neither of the Dukes could figure out why anybody would try and attack those men or their shipments. At the end of it all, none of the trucks were found to have any damage to them, but the Dukes also couldn't find any evidence that anything had blown up in the road.

"What do you think, Luke?" Bo asked once the drivers got back in their cabs and pulled out of there.

"I don't know," he shook his head, "First somebody smashes up Boss Hogg's car, and now they're attacking truckers…something weird's going on around here, but what is it?"

"And _who_ is it?" Bo added.

"And why?" Luke also wanted to know.

* * *

"Cooter, will you _stop_ laughing?" Rosco asked as he kept the receiver pressed against his ear, "I need you to get over here and get me out of these cuffs, the keys are gone and I'll just bet you anything my car's been stolen."

Rosco had come to and found himself in a very awkward position, handcuffed to his own chair, which he'd tried breaking and found it was too strong for that, and it severely limited how far he could travel throughout the station, but in the ground he was able to cover he hadn't been able to find the handcuff keys anywhere, and then he also noticed his car keys were missing. It occurred to him that very likely there might be only one person in the county who could get him out of this mess, _and_ who might actually do it. But now he was starting to rethink that guess.

"Everybody knows my handle, Rosco, I may be crazy but I ain't dumb, why would I come over and get you out? Watcha gonna do if I don't, are you gonna come over _here_?" And the mechanic exploded into another fit of laughter over the impossible ridiculousness of this situation.

"Dammit, Cooter!"

"Uh-uh-uh," the mechanic clicked his tongue mockingly, "Don't you cuss on this here phone line, Rosco."

"Cooter, I have been assaulted, I have been robbed, I've been knocked unconscious and tied up with my own handcuffs, now I've got to get out of here and find the lowlife responsible."

"That ain't hard, you _know_ where Bo and Luke live," Cooter said.

"It wasn't _them_ , Cooter," Rosco told him.

There was silence on the phone, followed by a, "Come again?"

Rosco felt a small sense of entitlement at being able to shut Cooter up and taking him by surprise with that statement. "You gonna come over here and help me out of this or not?" he asked again, feeling more certain of the mechanic's answer this time.

"Alright, Rosco, I'll be there in a few minutes, just let me get my blowtorch."

Rosco's eyes widened when he heard that, and he screamed into the phone, "Cooter!"

But the line went dead. Rosco slammed the receiver down in frustration, and then it rang and he picked it back up and said into it, "Don't you come anywhere near me with a blowtorch!"

"That might not be a bad idea, Rosco," Boss Hogg's voice came back, "Just where the hell are you?"

"Oh Boss! I thought you were someone else…"

"So I noticed," Boss Hogg replied in an unamused tone, "What is going on over there?"

"Uh sir, you see, I…what happened was…I was attacked, Boss. I got knocked out and…" he admitted shamefully, "I'm handcuffed to my desk and my keys are gone."

"What do you mean you was attacked?" Boss asked skeptically, "By _who_?"

"By…" No, Rosco couldn't do it. He just couldn't admit that a woman had gotten the drop on him. It was bad enough all the times Daisy got away with it, the Boss would _never_ believe this one, and even if he did, Rosco would never be able to show his face in the county again. Taking in a slow breath, he said into the receiver, "By two men, Boss, I think they were drifters in town…I ain't ever seen them before."

"Well ain't that just _peachy_?" Boss Hogg sneered into the phone, "Somebody pulverizes my car and _you_ get yourself taken prisoner in your own station."

Rosco winced because he could just imagine the response he knew Boss Hogg was going to have when he found out Rosco's car was stolen, but he told him, "Uh…Boss? There's one other thing I gotta tell you."

* * *

The deafening sound of tires squealing got Bo and Luke's attention and they looked up the road the way they'd come when they had to stop and help the truckers, and they saw a car coming their way that was all over the road, swerving left and right, and a few seconds and a couple hundred feet later, they realized…

"That's Rosco's car!" Luke said.

"That _can't_ be Rosco, can it?" Bo asked.

"If it is he needs help," Luke said, "Come on."

Before they could get to the General Lee, they both had to jump out of the way just in time before the lawman's car would've plowed right into them as it careened down the middle of the road now at a speed of 40 miles an hour.

"Man, what's he doing?" Bo asked.

"I don't know but we better stop him before he does any more," Luke told him.

They jumped in the General Lee and took off behind the sheriff's car and caught up to it in terms of speed, but after a short while it swerved off the road, crashed through a picket fence, continued to careen off to one side, and finally came to a stop when one side hit a tree and it skidded a few yards over to crash into a power pole. The General Lee stopped and the Dukes climbed out and ran over to see what had happened. Only it wasn't Rosco driving the car.

"It's Bridget!" Bo exclaimed as he reached the car first.

Bridget was unconscious, knocked back against the driver's seat, her head thrown back, her forehead bloody on one side. The side of the car was smashed in, the gas tank was leaking and the whole car reeked of it. Bo reached in through the open window to reach the key and shut off the ignition, but the whole dash was mangled and the key was stuck and he couldn't get it to turn, so instead he flung the door open and tried to undo the seatbelt that also seemed to be stuck.

"Be careful, Bo!" Luke warned his cousin as he caught up with Bo, fully aware of the damage that could occur from moving Bridget if the crash had left her with any neck or spinal injuries.

Bo all but ripped the seatbelt in two and told his cousin, "Ain't got time to be careful, this thing's about to blow!" He pulled Bridget forward and slung her over his shoulders and lifted her up and they got as far away from the car as they could before what Bo knew would happen did happen and the car blew up, the impact of the blast was almost enough to knock both Dukes on the ground, but Bo kept his balance and managed to make it the rest of the way back to the General Lee.

"Alright, put her down," Luke told him, "Let's see how bad it is."

He helped Bo ease Bridget down on the ground and for no more than they were able to look her over, they couldn't find any injuries other than the cut on her forehead, which looked worse than it was.

"What happened?" Bo asked helplessly, "What's she doing back here?"

"What's she doing with Rosco's car?" Luke asked.

"And what happened to her?"

"Or… _who_ happened to her?" Luke thought, "Come on, let's get her in the General Lee, we gotta get out of here."

"Doc Petticord's out of town," Bo told his cousin as they lifted Bridget up.

"That's fine, we're closer to home anyway, we'll have Uncle Jesse take a look at her, he probably knows as much as Doc Petticord anyway," Luke said, "Watch her head."

Once they got in the car, they got out of there and even by their own standards, got back to the farm in record time. Bo was the first one out of the General Lee and Luke helped slip Bridget over to the window so Bo could lift her out, and they ran up to the farmhouse screaming for Uncle Jesse. They made enough of a ruckus to bring both Uncle Jesse and Daisy tearing out of the house.

"What's the matter, boys?" he asked.

"We need help," Bo said as he carried Bridget's unconscious body up to the porch.

"And it's a _long_ story," Luke told them, "We'll tell you as much as we _know_."


	5. Chapter 5

Bridget let out a stifled groan as she slowly forced her eyes open. Her head was killing her, and the rest of her was in pain as well. She tried raising one hand up to her forehead and tried to sit up.

"Easy, don't move too quick."

Bridget got her eyes to focus and she saw four people standing over her, she saw Bo and Luke, a pretty woman, and an old man.

"What…happened?" she croaked out.

"That's what we'd like to know," Bo said.

"We told you," Luke said firmly, "To get out of here, why'd you come back?"

"I'm not back," she answered smugly as she collapsed back against the couch in the Dukes' living room.

"Well you're _here_ ," Bo pointed out.

"I never left," Bridget explained.

"Why _not_?" Luke wanted to know.

Bridget closed her eyes again and grumbled, "Let's just say I got my reasons." She opened her eyes again and asked, "Who's this?"

"This is our cousin, Daisy and our Uncle Jesse," Bo said.

"How 'do?" Bridget got out as she tried to sit up again, "What happened?"

"Well here's what we know," Luke said, "You were in Rosco's car and drove it straight off the road and into a power pole, got knocked out, and the car exploded. Now can you tell us how you got there in the _first_ place?"

"Maybe I could," Bridget answered a bit more coherently, "But you wouldn't believe me."

"Try us."

Bridget huffed and said, "That stupid sheriff spotted me swimming in the lake so he told me to put my clothes on and he took me to the station, so when he wasn't looking, I hightailed it out of there and stole his car so he couldn't chase me."

"Well where's Rosco now?" Bo asked.

"He is still at the police station," she said, "He's fine. Anyway, the last thing I remember when I was in the car was…the brakes weren't working." Bridget started to look sick as she recalled, "I was going faster, and I started swerving…I hit the brake as hard as I could but… _nothing_ happened."

Outside the window they heard a truck pull up, Daisy went over to look out and she told the others, "Cooter's here."

"That's strange, we were on our way to see him," Luke said.

"Uh oh," Daisy's smile dropped, "He's got Rosco with him."

Both Bo and Luke's eyes doubled in size and they looked to each other.

"Great, now what do we do?" Bo asked.

"Hide her," Luke said.

"Now wait just a minute boys," Jesse said to them, "I think I got a better idea."

"What's that, Uncle Jesse?" Bo asked.

"Rosco said that he'd been studying up on psychology at the station, so I think we're going to engage in a little of what they call 'psychological warfare'," Jesse said.

"That's what I love about country folk," Bridget said as Daisy and Bo helped her up, "They's the _real_ smart ones."

* * *

Rosco pounded on the front door and called out, "Open up, you Dukes I _know_ you're in there. Don't _make_ me kick in this door."

The door opened and Jesse greeted the sheriff and said, "Last time you tried kicking in my door, I seem to recall you getting your foot stuck in the oven."

"Jesse, where're the boys?" Rosco asked.

"Bo's getting cleaned up, Luke's right here," Jesse pointed off to the side.

Luke came into Rosco's view and gave a small wave, "Hey Rosco, long time no see, what brings you out here?"

Rosco stepped into the house and said to him, "Why'd you do it, Luke?"

"Why'd I do what?" he asked.

"We _had_ an agreement and I _was_ willing to uphold my end of it," Rosco said, "But you told me that that girl would be gone and she's not, she's _still_ in Hazzard County."

"What girl?" Luke asked.

"You know what girl, don't play dumb with me," Rosco warned him.

But Luke remained as clueless as could be and remarked with, "Who's playing?"

"Rosco, uh, exactly _what_ is all this about?" Jesse asked.

While Rosco explained to Jesse what was going on, Luke and Daisy went over to Cooter and Daisy whispered to him, "Why'd you bring him here, Cooter?"

"I'm sorry, Daisy, but I had to," Cooter replied in a low tone, "Somebody stole his car."

"We know," Luke whispered.

Cooter's eyes bugged out, "You _do_?"

"Shh!" Luke warned him.

Jesse just grinned and shook his head and told the sheriff, "Sorry, Rosco, you must be mistaking, these boys' been here with me all day, been a lot of work to do around here, ain't that right, Luke?"

"Sure is," Luke answered, "We had to help Uncle Jesse work on his truck."

"Stop being funny, you two," Rosco told them, "This is serious."

Bo watched through a crack in the door separating the living room from the kitchen and he tried his hardest not to laugh but a small one cracked through anyway.

Bridget stood over by the sink and waited impatiently. She looked over to the stove and saw a pot of boiling water that had been forgotten in all the excitement, she guessed they'd been working on dinner when she woke up. A light bulb went off over her head and she started looking at the jars on the shelf, and found one full of grits, she dumped about a cup's worth into the pot and let them soak up the water.

* * *

"Well if you want to insist she ain't here, then you should have no objection to my searching the place," Rosco said in the living room.

"I have no objection," Jesse said, "Do you, Daisy?"

"Nope, do you, Luke?"

"Nope."

"Alright then," Rosco said, a bit surprised by their sudden cooperation, then he said, "Well then…I'll search the kitchen first."

Rosco was facing the Dukes, who stood by the front door with Cooter, and they faced the kitchen door, and who saw the door swing open and Bridget came out carrying a pot of grits like a baseball bat drawn back for the hit, and ready to heave them onto the sheriff.

"NO!" the three of them shouted and threw their hands up, at the same time Bo came through the door and wrestled Bridget back into the kitchen and closed the door before Rosco had a chance to turn around.

And now Rosco was confused to no end. His eyes widened and he looked at the three of them and asked them, "What's the matter with you Dukes?"

"Well uh, you, you can't go in the kitchen, Rosco," Luke said, "Uh…Daisy's got her… _things_ , hanging up to dry."

"Oh," Rosco said, then did a double take and asked, "Why aren't they hanging out on the line? It ain't raining."

"Uh," Luke said, "Well…"

"Birds," Daisy answered without missing a beat.

"Oh," Rosco rounded his mouth in a perfect 'o' and nodded his head in understanding, "Okay, I got ya…but I still gotta check the house to make sure she ain't there."

"Well we'll be very happy to help you check," Jesse said.

Daisy and Luke were only too happy to comply and went off to their rooms and made a big show of going inside and looking and not turning up with anybody.

"Stop being funny you two," Rosco told them, "I gotta see for myself that there ain't anybody here."

"Well I can give you my word," Jesse told Rosco, "There's nobody in the kitchen."

The door swung open and Bo stepped out dressed in a clean shirt and his hair still damp and called out, "Hey everybody."

"Until now," Jesse grumbled.

"Hey Rosco, what brings you here?" Bo asked.

"My truck," Cooter explained.

"Why didn't you just bring your car?" Bo asked.

"Because somebody stole it, that's why," Rosco told him.

Bo looked surprised, "Who'd do a thing like that?"

"You know who," Rosco said, "That crazy woman you two have been running around town with."

" _Who?_ " Bo asked.

"Alright that's enough out of all of you," Rosco told the Dukes, "One more smart remark and I'm gonna run you _all_ in for interfering with a police investigation."

Cooter got out a laugh and asked Rosco, "With _what_? They all can't fit in my truck."

Bo sniffed and said, "Hey, what's burning?"

The others got a whiff of the air and picked up on an odor of smoke as well, they hadn't really noticed it before, but now they realized it was coming from Rosco.

"Reckon all that's missing is the brimstone and you ought to be right at home, Rosco," Jesse said.

"Oh that's right, I forgot," Rosco looked to Luke and told him, "We seem to have more trouble going on here than just the Boss's car getting pulverized."

"What do you mean?" Luke asked suspiciously.

"While Cooter was getting me out of my handcuffs," Rosco explained, "A call came in, seems this big truck was coming in from Atlanta and somebody ambushed it and set it on fire right after it got into the county."

"What?" Daisy asked in disbelief.

"What were they hauling?" Bo asked.

"Well the driver said they were transporting these 50 pound bags of sugar and flour to the store…" Rosco cut off and asked, "Why?"

"Just wondering," he answered.

"Anyway by the time we got out there," Rosco said, "The whole truck was in blazes and the cargo was long gone."

"That's crazy," Daisy said.

"That's what I told him," Cooter said, "And you know where I stand on crazy."

"First somebody smashes up the Boss's car, then I get knocked out and locked up with my own cuffs, my car gets stolen, and now this…" Rosco shook his head and groaned, "This is the worst day of my career since I found out they canceled my pension. And I _still_ gotta get over to the Boar's Nest and tell the Boss what's going on. Come on, Cooter, I better get this over with before it gets any later." Rosco headed towards the door, but stopped and turned back and addressed the family and said to them, "I know the Boss ain't the most honest or decent man alive, but if somebody's coming after him and he _would_ be found out to be in danger, can I count on you guys to help?"

Jesse was very solemn as he answered, "Of course, Rosco, you know that."

Rosco nodded slowly and said, "Thanks, Jesse." He cleared his throat and said, "I'll be seeing you guys," then he turned and was out the front door with Cooter following after him.

Once they heard Cooter's truck leave the farm, the kitchen door opened and Bridget stepped out and dryly said, "Well that was fun."

"Young lady," Jesse turned to her and told her, "I got half a mind to tan your hide for that stunt you pulled."

"You'll have to get in line," Bridget remarked as she headed back over to the couch and sat down on it.

"How old are you?" it suddenly occurred to Bo to ask.

Bridget gave a small chuckle and replied, "I'm old _enough_."

" _How_ old?" Luke asked in a firmer tone.

She looked at the two of them and finally answered, "24."

"I don't believe it, you couldn't get that fresh in 24 years," Jesse commented.

"You weren't serious, were you?" Bridget asked them, "You're not going to help Boss Hogg, are you?"

"If it turns out that he's gotten himself into trouble again, _yes_ we will," Jesse answered.

"Why would you be stupid enough to help the man that's always trying to put you guys in jail and take your farm?" Bridget asked, genuinely dumbstruck by his response.

"Because it's the right thing to do," Jesse told her.

"Says who?" Bridget asked.

"The Bible," he answered without missing a beat.

"I seem to recall it saying something about 'eye for an eye'," Bridget said, "What's he done to warrant help?"

"That was the Old Testament," Jesse told her, "The New Testament deems it a Christian duty to help one's enemies."

"Yeah well the Old Testament also had the 10 Commandments and _they_ still seem to be pretty popular today despite the Old being replaced with the rules of the New," Bridget remarked, "If man is to treat others as he wishes to be treated, then that fat tub of lard has a rude surprise awaiting him."

"Forgiving your enemies ain't for them," Jesse said in response, "It's to benefit you."

"Yeah well I guess you're just a better man than me then," Bridget said, "Somebody wrongs me they're getting everything back they put out."

Bridget's head bobbed from side to side and she slurred the last couple words, then her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell back against the couch, out cold.

"Not again," Luke said.

He, Bo and Daisy all gathered around the couch to see what had happened, Jesse just stood back and laughed and told them, "Ain't nothing wrong with her except she's just wore out. Just let her rest."

"How do you know, Uncle Jesse?" Bo asked.

"When you've lived as long as I have, you _know_ ," he said simply, "Just let her sleep it off."

Daisy pulled a blanket off the top of the couch and covered Bridget with it. Bo and Luke went over to Jesse and Luke told him, "Something weird's going on here, earlier today three other trucks were attacked on their way to Chickasaw County."

"What happened?" Jesse asked.

"The driver said something exploded in the middle of the road, none of the trucks were damaged but we also couldn't find whatever it was that blew up," Luke said, "Now it looks like whoever did that tried again and was more successful this time."

"Hmmm," the wheels were turning in Jesse's head, "Must be a connection somewhere."

"But what? And who?" Bo asked.

"I think Rosco's right," Luke said, "This could easily be one of the worst days in Hazzard County history."

"It's certainly been quite an _eventful_ one, that's for sure," Jesse noted. He pointed over at the unconscious woman on the couch and asked the boys, "So what do you know about her?"

"Not a lot," Luke answered, "She hasn't exactly been very forthcoming."

"And why didn't she leave?" Bo wanted to know, "We told her to."

"She said she had her reasons," Daisy recalled, "I wonder what they are?"

Jesse looked down at the young woman and told the boys, "Well, might not know who she is or _what_ she is…but one thing I do know. When you get to be my age, you can tell the difference in young people which of them _work_ hard, and which of them _live_ hard…looks to me though like this one's done a bit of both."

Daisy grabbed one of Bridget's hands that was resting on top of the blanket and noticed that Jesse was right, her palms and fingers were rough and callused, and it looked like they'd callused over other calluses more than once.


	6. Chapter 6

Bridget slept clear through the night on the couch, during most of that time, Bo, Luke and Jesse got on the CB and conferred with their friends on the Hazzard Net to see if anybody had heard anything or knew anything about what had been going on that day, everybody came back with the same answer that they didn't know anything, they hadn't seen anything, and they hadn't heard anything, so everybody was in the same clueless boat. By the time they went to bed, they didn't know anymore than they had all day, and they didn't have any idea what they were going to do tomorrow.

By morning, Bridget finally woke up and despite sleeping for almost 12 hours, still didn't seem to be quite all there, in fact she was starting to now act more like when the guys had first met her the other morning. Bo sat beside her on the couch as she pulled herself together for the day, Luke came out of the kitchen with a bowl and told her, "Here you go, Bridget, you missed dinner last night but Uncle Jesse made some chicken soup."

"Last night?" she asked as she took the bowl and spoon from him.

"No," Luke answered, "He made it fresh this morning."

Just as Bridget raised the spoon to her mouth, outside a chicken jumped up in the window and squawked, Bridget dropped the spoon in the bowl and said, "Maybe a little _too_ fresh."

She looked and realized now both cousins were seated on either side of her, and neither said one word but both just stared at her. She put the bowl down and said to them, "Not that it isn't nice having two good looking guys to sit between, but uh, what exactly is going on here?"

"Let's try this again," Luke said to her, " _Why_ did you come here?"

"I didn't, you _brought_ me here," she said.

"Why did you come to this county?" Bo asked, "For what purpose?"

Bridget looked back and forth at the two of them and said, "You know what, thanks for your hospitality but I think I'm going to pass on breakfast," she stood up, "And I'm going to go back to the lake and get my car."

"Not so fast."

Each Duke grabbed her by one side and yanked her back.

"Why'd you come here, Bridget?" Luke asked.

She pulled herself loose from their grip and straightened out her clothes and said to him, "I had my reasons."

"What are they?" he demanded to know.

She stared him down and told him, "There are some people getting ready to come through this county that you don't want in your nice little homeland."

"Who?" Luke asked, in a tone that one didn't dare argue with.

Bridget turned her head to the side and brought her upper teeth down over her lower lip and she said, "Wish I could tell you. I don't know their names, only the racket they operate in."

" _And_?" both Dukes asked her.

She looked at the two of them with an expression that screamed she wanted nothing more than to tell them but couldn't. Finally she said, "The mob."

"The what?" Bo asked, sure he'd heard wrong.

"I don't mean Godfather mob, I mean they run all kinds of illegal activities on both sides of state lines all through the south, and anybody who gets in their way winds up dead."

"How'd you find out about this?" Luke asked.

"By accident," she answered, "I followed the trail out here. Every one of them knows somebody who knows somebody and they each have 10 connections, to break the chain at all you'd have to cut _all_ links. Turns out quite a few members decided Hazzard County would be the ideal place to set up their new operations because they haven't come here before. A few of them already passed through to lay the groundwork."

Bo thought of something and made an educated guess, "The lake?"

Bridget nodded slightly.

"That's why she kept saying she couldn't hear us," he told Luke, "She's been swimming there every day," he looked to her and asked, "Why?"

"Right before you get to the edge on this side," Bridge told them, "There's a big flat rock hidden under some weeds…and under the rock…perfect place to hide something…and somebody did."

"Wait a minute… _wait a minute_ ," Luke said, "You don't mean that those trucks that came through yesterday…"

"What'd they say they were hauling?" Bridget asked, "Animal feed? Eggs? _Flour and sugar_?"

"There's no way you could've known that," Bo said, "You weren't there."

"You didn't bother looking in the back of the truck to make sure they weren't lying, did you?" she asked.

"So much for our new policy," Luke commented.

"They're smuggling drugs and weapons over the lines," Bridget said, "Enough of both to kill a thousand people easy. One of them left a small shipment of drugs under the rock…so I stayed at the lake to see if anybody came to pick it up. Figured one lone witness in the water wouldn't be perceived as much of a threat, especially if you know how to play a dumb hick well."

"Anybody pick it up?" Luke asked.

"I wouldn't know," Bridget said, "I was waiting when your esteemed sheriff picked me up."

"And your car's still out there," Bo said, " _That's_ going to get noticed."

"You got it," she replied.

"We'll give you a lift out there so you can pick up your car," Luke told her, "And we're going to check under that rock to make sure you're being honest with us."

"By all means," Bridget responded, "Let's go."

* * *

"The car's still here," Bo said as he stopped the General Lee.

"You two stay here," Bridget said as she pushed herself through the window on Luke's side and climbed out, "If that bumbling sheriff comes 'round here again, he ain't gonna find _your_ fingerprints on the stash."

"Well hurry back!" Luke told her.

They watched Bridget skedaddle over towards the lake and stopped about ten feet short of it, she knelt down in the grass and weeds and they watched as close as they could as she got hold of something and pulled up a large flat rock. So far true. She stayed there for a minute and they wondered if something had gone wrong, then she stood up and they saw her clutching something small and white. She walked back over to the General Lee and held it out to Luke and said to him, "I can't tell if it's heroin or cocaine, you got any idea?"

"Does it matter?" he asked as he took it from her, "Either way we got a fine mess on our hands we gotta do something about."

Bridget leaned against the car and folded her arms on the door as they considered their options.

"That stupid sheriff of yours ain't competent enough to handle this," Bridget said, "And I don't think there's anyone else we can trust in this."

"Maybe Rosco could get the FBI in on this," Luke suggested to Bo.

"The Feds? Which hand do you think is washing the other?" Bridget asked, "As long as business is good and both sides get a cut, nobody's going to be any too anxious to do anything about it."

"Now you don't mean to say you know the FBI's involved with this," Luke said to her.

"Maybe not but all the same I wouldn't hold my breath for them to do anything if I were you," Bridget told him.

"So now what do we do?" Bo asked.

The otherwise silence of the secluded area was shattered by the sudden noise of a shot being fired. Bridget looked behind her, Bo looked out his window and Luke looked ahead and behind them and nobody could see anything, but then another shot rang out, then more.

"Watch your head!" Luke told Bridget as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in through the window, "Get us out of here!"

"You got it!" Bo floored it and they turned around and went back the way they came, during which all three of them got knocked every which way against each other.

"What just happened?" Bo asked as he looked at the side mirror to see if anyone was behind them.

"I'm not sure," Bridget replied cynically as she straightened out sitting between them, "But I think I just got engaged to one of you two." She looked at Luke and asked him in a more serious tone, "Do you believe me _now_?"

He nodded, "Yeah…yeah, I believe you."

* * *

"So _you_ were the one that attacked those trucks," Luke said to Bridget once they got back to the farmhouse and gathered everybody in the living room.

"Yeah," she answered, "I figured it might serve as a little friendly warning, I figured nothing would actually happen to the trucks, and if it did, so what?"

"What'd you use?" Bo asked, "We couldn't find a trace of anything."

"Oh, I got these nifty firecrackers that know how to clean up after themselves," Bridget explained, "By the time the string's gone, there's _nothing_ left of them."

"So how'd you set the other truck on fire?" Luke asked.

"Bottle rocket, those things have a delicious tendency to do things like that, you know," she said, "I figured the easiest way to fight fire was with fire _works_ , I found this warehouse that a large shipment had been kept in since I guess the last 4th of July and it shut down and all the inventory kept in crates so I decided to help myself. It seemed simple enough, fireworks cause all kinds of unpredictable trouble, fires, explosions, and the true beauty of it is fire can destroy the evidence of its own origin, that's why arson is one of the most despised crimes in the world because most of them can't ever be solved."

"And that was _before_ we caught you in Rosco's car?"

"Yeah…I was heading back to the car when I guess one of the guys from the truck found me, I don't know if he actually knew what I did, but we got into a fight and after that I kind of blacked out. But the brakes _did_ give out in the car."

"He may have cut the line and put you in it," Luke said, "After that explosion, nobody would be able to ever prove it, it'd look like you just went off the road and crashed."

"That's one of the lesser talents of these people," Bridget said, "They can kill you a hundred different ways and make sure nobody ever suspects foul play. All the same, shooting people's still a favorite of theirs."

"So we noticed," Bo remarked.

There was a knock at the front door, and Bridget looked like a trapped animal.

"Stay here," Jesse told the others.

Jesse went to the door and saw a man standing on his porch, a man in a suit that said he wasn't a big city type of man, but he still looked wrong for their area.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Good afternoon, sir," the man said, and produced a badge, "Agent Jones with the FBI."

"Oh, you don't say," Jesse replied.

"We have reason to believe that a wanted fugitive may be hiding out in this general area," the man told Jesse.

"I see," he responded.

"Would you mind if I came in?" the man asked.

"Oh, do you want to speak to the man of the house?" Jesse asked.

"Yes sir…I—"

"Just hang on a minute, I'll go get her," Jesse turned away from the door, "Daisy! Would you come here?"

Daisy came over to the door, "Yes, Uncle Jesse?"

"This man here's a Federal Agent, he wants to speak to us about a…what was that you said?" Jesse asked, playing dumb.

"We are looking for a woman we believe is tied in with the State Line Mob," Jones said, "We have reason to believe she is hiding out somewhere in this county."

"Oh you don't say," Jesse said, "Uh…is she about yay tall?"

"Yes."

"Short blonde hair?"

"Yes."

"Sorry, I ain't seen her," Jesse laughed as he walked away from the door.

Jones threw the door open and started in after Jesse and got out, "Now see here, Mister, I don't…" and then turned around and ran back out the door screaming, a few seconds later Jesse ran to the front and out on the porch wielding a cleaver from the kitchen.

"Ain't no FBI Agent," he told Daisy as he put the cleaver down, "If he had been, he'd a pulled his gun…stead of dropping it." He picked up the snub nosed revolver and tossed it in the house.

"They found us," Bo said as they came to the door.

"Yep, and they'll likely be back," Jesse told them, "So we gotta get ready for them." He turned to Daisy and told her, "I'm gonna get my shotgun."

Bridget elbowed Luke and asked him, "How many guns you got in this house?"

"Just Uncle Jesse's, he's not on probation so he can actually use them," he explained.

"Who the hell cares about probation? We're fighting for our lives here," Bridget pointed out.

"That might be but we had a deal that we'd follow the conditions of our probation and we don't violate them… _much_ ," Luke said, "But we draw the line at firearms."

"Oh for…" Bridget picked up the revolver on the floor, then another idea came to her, "Fine, _don't_ use firearms, who cares?" She picked up Jesse's cleaver and asked them, "Is _this_ a firearm?"

"No," Bo answered.

Bridget went over to the kitchen and came back with a frying pan, "Is _this_ a firearm?"

"No," Luke said.

Bridget tossed it back on the stove and came back out with a carving knife, "Is _this_ a firearm?"

Luke grabbed it from her and told her, "No but we also draw the line at knives."

"That's not a probation violation," Bridget said.

"No but it's barbaric and we aren't," Luke told her.

"If it's good enough for the farm animals it's more than good enough for _them_ ," she said, "Besides, if you don't use that and you don't use a gun, what the hell _are_ you gonna use?"

"Don't worry about them," Daisy told Bridget, "They've already got that all worked out," and she gestured to the two quivers on the wall.

"Bows and arrows? You kidding me?" Bridget asked.

"You'll see," Luke said as he grabbed one and handed the other to Bo.

"Why not?" Bridget asked, "Let's get some war paint and do it right," and she hopped off on one foot whooping like an Indian.

"You know," Bo said as he grabbed his bow, "I hate to say it, but I think I'm gonna miss her when this is all over."

"I hope you're not looking for a second motion," Luke told him as he got the dynamite.

* * *

About five minutes after Jesse chased off the phony FBI agent, three cars pulled up outside the Duke home, and seven men got out, all of them armed with guns. They left their cars and headed up to the house but before they could make their first move, they heard something that sounded like a redneck war cry, and the next thing they heard was a loud explosion, they turned around and saw that one of their cars had suddenly burst into flames. While their attention was diverted, Jesse fired at them through an open side window, _just_ missing them but definitely getting their attention. And while they were _still_ too distracted to watch the front door, Daisy flung it open quick enough to hit one of them in the head with a frying pan and then slammed it shut again.

Luke already got one shot in at the cars, on the other side of the house, Bo leaned out from behind a tree and pulled back on his bow and sent another lit stick of dynamite aiming for the two remaining cars, and hit the one furthest on his side, another direct hit, another explosion and another mushroom cloud of black smoke and flames.

"And your boys complain about _my_ tactics," Bridget said in passing to Jesse as she went over to the window and tossed a brick she'd found out the window at a curve and it hit another one of the men.

Bo and Luke dropped their bows and went in for more direct contact, grabbing two of the gangsters _not_ already down for the count and punching their lights out. They'd already anticipated it wouldn't be an easy fight but it proved harder than they'd thought. The one Luke was trying to knock out was a foot taller than him and looked like he was kin to the Jolly Green Giant, he didn't go down when Luke hit him and grabbed him around the neck and tried to snap it. Luke charged the guy and they fell back against the window, Bridget popped her head up and grabbed hold of one of the man's massive and fleshy wrists and sunk her teeth into it. _That_ got his attention long enough for him to lose his grip on Luke, who followed through with a KO.

Bo grabbed another one of the men and they were pretty evenly matched in trying to toss the other one away, the other man pulled a gun out of his jacket and tried to press it against Bo's gut, but Bo punched him hard enough to knock him on the ground. By now, most of the fight was over, just about every thug was down for the count, though the Dukes knew they wouldn't stay that way. So, they decided there was only one thing to do, keep them confined until the law _could_ deal with them. So using Jesse's shotgun as a persuader, they rounded the seven men up and forced them into the one remaining car, left the windows down a crack, pulled out the inside locks, and locked them in, all seven of them crammed in the two sets of seats like a can of sardines.

"Alright," Luke said, "Before anything else happens, I think we need to tell Rosco what's going on _and_ Bo and I need to find Boss Hogg and find out if he knows anything about what's going on."

"You think he'll tell you?" Bridget asked.

"He may be the lowest form of human life in this county but even he's got _some_ standards," Luke told her, "He'd _never_ go for this. Uncle Jesse, can you raise Rosco and get him to come over here?"

"Sure thing," their uncle answered.

"Alright," Luke's mind was racing, he told Bridget, "You stay here with Uncle Jesse and Daisy, if anything else happens, he'll know what to do."

"You think Boss Hogg's at his office?" Bo asked.

"Where else would he be at this time of day?" Luke asked, "Come on, let's go."

The two cousins ran to the General Lee and took off, Jesse, Daisy and Bridget stepped inside the house. Jesse propped his shotgun against the wall for the moment and he told Daisy, "I'll call Rosco, I know he ain't got a new car yet but maybe he can pull some favors with the cops in Chickasaw County and get some extra help around here."

"I'm sorry," they heard Bridget behind them, "But that's not a chance I can take."

Daisy and Jesse turned around and saw Bridget was holding Jesse's own shotgun on them.

"I _really_ apologize for this," she told them, "But I need to make sure you two don't blow the whistle until my work here is done. Now, what's a room in this house with a lock on the door?" The uncle and niece looked at each other in shock and question, and Bridget told them, "I don't want to have to do this, so don't make me do anything else I'll regret. What room?"

"The closet in the boys' room has a lock on it," Jesse admitted.

"Show me," Bridget told them, "And please don't try and get smart with me, I take no pleasure in this. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Daisy raised her hands high and Jesse raised his halfway and they headed over to Bo and Luke's room.

"Bridget, why're you doing this?" Daisy asked.

"I told you I had my reasons for coming out here," she told them, "They're more than what you know."

Jesse pulled the closet door open and showed her that it only locked from the outside, and she examined it and saw there wasn't anything in there they could use to force the lock open.

"Alright, get in," she said, as they went she told them, "I _do_ apologize for this, Mr. Jesse, Miss Daisy, you've been very hospitable and I really appreciate it, but this is something I have to see to myself."

Jesse went in first and then Daisy, it was a tight fit but they'd be able to mange until somebody came for them. Keeping a one handed grip on the shotgun, Bridget started to close the door, then she stopped halfway and said, "One more thing, Miss Daisy. Where's Boss Hogg's office?"


	7. Chapter 7

"You two Dukes got _some_ nerve coming in here," Boss Hogg told the cousins when they showed up at the county commissioner's office, "After what you did to my car yesterday."

"We didn't do it," Luke told him.

"Oh no? Well then who did?" Boss Hogg wanted to know.

"We have an idea, but you'll never believe it," Bo said.

"Oh yeah? Try me," Boss Hogg settled in his chair and leaned back, "Who did it?"

The two cousins looked at each other and then looked at the fat little man and Bo answered, "It was a girl."

Boss Hogg's eyes widened in disbelief, and his tone was also dripping with it as he parroted, "A girl?"

"Yeah," Luke answered.

And from there, it was one long continuous story with the two cousins trading off every sentence or so.

"See yesterday we were coming back from hauling a load for some friends," Bo started.

"And on the way back we saw this red car speeding behind us," Luke continued.

"And it almost ran into us and we almost ran off the road."

"So we followed it, only we lost it."

"Then we caught up with it again," Bo explained.

"Turned out the driver was this woman," Luke told Boss.

"But she don't look like one."

"She said she was passing through and wanted a tour of the county."

"And we said sure."

"She said to stop at a store to get some cigarettes, but then she was gone for 10 minutes."

"And the store's just across from the back of the Boar's Nest, so that must've been when she went over and smashed up your car," Bo told him.

"And then came back before we could figure out what was going on."

"Then Rosco caught us and hauled us to jail for possession of a firearm."

"Only it wasn't ours," Luke said, "We figured something was up with her so we pulled off to see what she was hauling in her car."

"About 5,000 fireworks and a shotgun," Bo added.

"So Rosco hauls us in, puts us in a holding cell."

"Asks her what happened."

"She says she'll show him what happened, and stole his gun."

"Had him let us out of the cell and forced him into it."

"Then we took his keys and his car to drive back and get _our_ cars, and we told her to get out of Hazzard County before she caused anymore trouble," Luke explained.

"Then we went back and let Rosco out and returned his car," Bo added.

"So then we went home," Luke said, "And Rosco found her swimming in the lake."

"He brought her back to the station, she knocked him out, handcuffed him, stole his keys."

"Then proceeded to ambush trucks coming across the county lines," Luke added.

"Then the next thing we knew, she comes back in Rosco's car and she wipes out and crashes the car, and we get her out just before it blows up."

"So we took her back to the farm."

"Then Rosco shows up," Bo said.

"He tells us somebody set a truck on fire as it came in from Atlanta."

"Turns out she did it," Bo told Boss Hogg.

"Today she told us that somebody left a batch of drugs by the lake and she's been staying there waiting to see who picked it up."

"So we went out to see if she was telling the truth."

"She pulled these out from under a rock," Luke dropped the bags of white powder on the desk.

"Then somebody started shooting at us," Bo said.

"So we got back to the farm and they followed us," Luke added.

"So we got in a fight."

"One of them just about snapped my neck like a twig, then she bit him," Luke told the corrupt commissioner.

"We got seven of them holed up at the house right now," Bo said.

"And she's there now with Uncle Jesse and Daisy," Luke added.

"Now we don't know _why_ she broke the lights and window on your car," Bo told Boss Hogg.

"As far as we know, she didn't even know who you were when she came into the county," Luke concluded.

"But that's who did it," they both finished simultaneously.

There was the longest silence as Boss Hogg took in their story and just glared up at them, and they returned the stare, waiting to see what he would do.

And then Boss Hogg broke into a laughing fit so hard, they thought he'd choke.

"That's a good one!" he told them, "Damn but you Duke boys sure know how to make a person laugh…a _girl_ did all that…" he laughed even harder as he started gesturing with his hands to accompany what he was saying, "A _girl_ held Rosco at gunpoint, broke you out of jail, handcuffed him, and stole his car. That's hilarious, that's a beaut!" he laughed harder and harder until they thought he'd lose his voice. Then he became a bit more serious and asked them, "Who would be capable of pulling off all of that? What girl?"

* * *

Bridget had hightailed it back to the lake and got her car, found the shotgun still where she left it, and floored it all the way to the commissioner's office, only deciding at the last minute _against_ driving it straight _into_ the building. Instead she marched in with the shotgun in hand and loudly demanded to know, "Which way to Boss Hogg's office?"

A few people pointed the way, but when she reached the door to the office, there was a man standing outside blocking the way.

"Out of my way," she told him, "I got some business with the pig in there."

The man didn't seem fazed by the gun she was wielding and told her, "Sorry, nobody's allowed in."

"I ain't asking, I'm telling, I'm going in there," Bridget said.

The man was half a foot taller than her and stared her down and told her, "I got two words for you, missy, that office is _off-limits_."

"Yeah? And I got two words for you," Bridget told him, "Bull—" she pumped the shotgun with one hand, steadied it with the other hand and pulled the triggers with the first hand, and blew two holes in the door.

The Dukes hadn't heard the altercation outside the door but as soon as two rounds of buckshot came through the door, they suddenly found themselves standing four feet back from where they were. Boss Hogg sat forward in his chair and his eyes widened at what had just happened, and as the smoke cleared, the door opened and Bridget stepped in.

"Well, well, well," she said as she sauntered in, the smoking shotgun still at her side.

Boss Hogg suddenly leapt to his feet, his eyes bulged, his skin turned pale, his jaw dropped and so did the cigar out of his mouth, "Oh my God, Luella!"

Bo turned to Luke and asked cluelessly, "Who's Oh-My-God-Luella?"

"It's Bridget," Luke gestured to her.

"Ho-ly cats," Bo commented as they turned to see her.

Boss Hogg approached Bridget and looked at her in shock and awe, "Luella, w-w-what're you doing here?"

"Jefferson Davis Hogg," Bridget said each word with heavy emphasis, and said to him, "What's the matter, aren't you glad to see your niece?"

"NIECE?" the Dukes repeated in disbelief.

The woman slowly nodded her head, not proudly though. She looked at Boss Hogg and said to him, "I decided to come out and find out what you'd been up to, and I've had plenty of time to hear what everybody who knows you thinks about you, and what a rotten excuse for a human being you are. _Especially_ the way all you seem to have time to do is harass and threaten and frame up these two nice men, _and_ their family."

"Luella, don't make me sick," Boss Hogg told the young woman.

Luella dropped the shotgun and grabbed Boss Hogg by his jacket, putting a look of absolute fear on his face as she told him, "And if that weren't bad enough, on top of having everybody mortgaged to the eyeballs so you can foreclose in a heartbeat, now you've gone and got in bed with the southern mafia."

"Luella!" Boss Hogg drew back from her, "How dare you? You _know_ I'm still married to your Aunt Lulu, and _that's_ bad enough, I don't even know no Althea."

"No you _moron_ ," she told him, "You got mobsters coming into this place and there's gonna be a massacre, and the blood's gonna be on _your_ hands."

"Now whatever are you talking about?" Boss Hogg asked.

"What was the racket _this_ time?" Luella asked, "A casino? Some big armored car robbery? Whatever it was, you're a bigger idiot than I thought because _this_ time you've got yourself in with the dope dealers and the hitmen and they're setting shop up _right_ here in your county."

"What?"

"That's what we were trying to tell you," Luke said, "They found out that… _she_ ," after everything that had just happened, he didn't even know what to call her anymore, "Found part of the drug supply they were bringing in and they tried to kill us."

"Drugs? Drugs in _my_ county?" Boss Hogg looked ready to bust through the ceiling, he shook his head, "No-o-o-o way!"

"You _really_ mean you didn't know," Luella said.

"Luella you ought to know me better than that," he told her.

"I know you enough to wish I _didn't_ ," she replied, "You're the scourge of our family. If Mama and Daddy knew what kind of schemes you've been pulling around here they would _flail_ you alive, and it's no less than you deserve." She looked at him and added, "I ought to call home and see what they make of all this."

And for some reason, _this_ put more fear in Boss Hogg than anything else that had just happened in the last ten minutes.

"Luella! You wouldn't!"

"If we're still alive when this is all over, I just might," she insisted, "Right now instead we gotta worry about staying alive, the people coming in here have a whole trail of bodies behind them, I've _seen_ six of them between here and Tennessee. It's the likes of them that killed a _very_ good sheriff a few years ago back there, did you _know_ that, Uncle?"

"Bridget," Bo said, "Luella, whoever you are, regardless of what role he's got in this, you gotta let it go."

"Don't tell me my business, Bo," she told him as she glared at him through one eye, "I came out here for this very moment." She grabbed Boss Hogg again and told him, "For all the trouble you've caused, I ought to drag you out to the swamp and feed you to the gators, they could eat for a week off of _your_ fat." She let go of him and added, "It's people like _you_ , _and_ people like that mob out there, and all that other white trash just like them, that gives the rest of us southerners a _bad_ name, and we have a hard enough time fighting that already given our already sordid history in this side of the country!"

Boss Hogg suddenly did a 180 and put his fists at his sides and asked Luella in a truly confused and clueless tone, " _What_ sordid history?"

"Never mind, I don't have time to explain it to _you_ , you fat sack of pus!" and she lunged at him again.

"Luella," Boss Hogg grabbed at her hands that had grabbed his neck, by now his voice was an irritated squeak, "I can't breathe!"

"Yeah we all got our problems," she replied as she let go of him, "Now the first order of business is you're going to apologize."

Boss Hogg huffed and puffed and choked and finally caught his breath and asked her, "What?"

"You heard me," she said in a threatening tone, "Say you're sorry."

He grumbled a bit but told her, "I'm sorry."

"NOT TO ME, STUPID!" Luella told him and pointed to Bo and Luke, "TO THEM!"

Boss Hogg's face scrunched up as he whined and moaned and pleaded, "Aw Luella!"

"DO IT!" she told him.

He grumbled and moaned more as he turned to them and said lowly, "I'm…sorry."

"LOUDER!" Luella screamed at him.

"I'm sorry!" he repeated.

"Now bow down to them!" she told him.

He looked at her like he couldn't understand what she said, but he did, he got down on his knees and did a little kowtow.

"Say sorry!" she screamed at him.

"I'm sorry!"

"LOUDER!" Luella told him as she kicked him in his seat.

"I'M SORRY!" he said as he got to his feet.

"Now kiss their hands!" Luella ordered him.

Boss Hogg grumbled and stammered incoherently but did as he was told, he grabbed Bo's hand and kissed it, earning a _very_ confused look from the blonde Duke, Luke pulled his hand back before Boss Hogg got a chance.

"Now do a little dance!" Luella told him.

Desperate, Boss Hogg complied and did something akin to a sped up soft shoe combined with a bit of a jig.

"This is getting interesting," Bo murmured to his older cousin, with a big stupid grin of enjoyment on his face, _just_ managing not to laugh.

Luke wasn't as successful, a few snorts and chortles got loose from him as they watched the fat little man trying to dance as fast as he could.

"He's gonna have a heart attack," he laughed under his breath to Bo.

"Alright that's enough!" Luella hollered at him, and after pausing a beat when the room became silent, she told him, "I just wanted to see if you'd actually do it."

Boss Hogg was huffing and puffing harder and faster than the big bad wolf ever did, he took his hat off and used it to fan himself and he told his niece, "Look Luella, you gotta believe me I had _no_ idea these people were into _those_ rackets, if I had…"

"You can save your excuses," she told him, "Right now we gotta get ready for a war. But before we do," she told him warningly, "I want a solemn oath from you and if you try to go back on it I'm gonna hunt you down and stick you like a pig."

He looked at her and inquired, "What _kind_ of solemn oath?"

"That whatever goes on tonight has _no_ impact on these two's probation," Luella pointed to the Dukes, "We're gonna be crossing lines to fix this mess and even if they've got to use firearms in the battle, none of that counts as a violation, you got me?"

He considered it for a moment and finally reluctantly answered, "Alright, fine…but _just_ for tonight."

"Fine," she said.

"You know where they are?" Bo asked.

"They got a lot of their trucks through already," Luella explained, "They're sitting _right_ by the line."

"So let's go get 'em," Bo said.

Luella turned to Boss Hogg and told him, "You better send somebody over to the Dukes' house to get Mr. Jesse and Miss Daisy out of the closet, I took the liberty of locking them up before I came here."

"What?!" Luke asked.

* * *

Boss Hogg had two rifles and a pump shotgun hanging on the wall in his office, they all came down and got loaded. By the time Daisy and Jesse arrived, they carried in Jesse's two shotguns and two rifles, Rosco had filled them in on what was going on before they left the house.

"Well J.D.," Jesse said, "Looks like we got a common interest here."

"I know, don't remind me," he replied as he finished loading his shotgun, "You got yours?"

"Yup," Jesse said, "But how do I know if my boys do what you're asking, that you won't uh, go back on your word and put them back in jail?"

Luella walked up to the Duke patriarch and assured him, "Oh he won't do that, Mr. Jesse, because he promised me he wouldn't and he _fears_ me." She smirked at him and asked him, "Ain't that right, _Uncle_?"

"Jesse, you got my word," Boss Hogg raised his hand, "Ain't nothing gonna happen to Bo and Luke if we all come out of this tonight."

"You'll excuse me, J.D. if I don't take you at your word," Jesse replied, "Seems you've broken that in more pieces than Humpty Dumpty."

"I still say we'd be better off sticking with our bows and arrows," Luke said as they came into the office, "We've had more experience with them."

"I don't care _what_ you use," Rosco said as he came in behind the boys, "So long as I got somebody covering me. I know this is serious but you _know_ when I'm on the spot to shoot I do horribly."

"Fine, give me that," Luella took his shotgun from him, "You just stand around and look purty."

"Is everything ready?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah, we got everything ready to go," Luke answered, "Cooter's outside waiting."

"Let's go then," Jesse said.

Everybody moved out, Luke and Bo and Luella being the last ones out.

"This ought to be interesting," she said.

"Yeah," Luke said dismissively and walked past her.

Luella turned and looked at Bo and said to him, "I suppose you hate me too."

"Luke don't hate you," Bo said to her as he took a step towards her.

"He hates me," she replied, and looked back towards the door, "He figures since I lied about everything that he can't trust me now, now that our lives might depend on it."

"Well he can get over it," Bo told her, "Come on."


	8. Chapter 8

A small convoy made its way out to the county line separating Hazzard from Chickasaw: Luella led the way in her car, followed by the General Lee, followed by Jesse's pickup, followed by Cooter's truck, which was being driven by Rosco, followed by the cab to a big rig driven by Cooter. When Luella stopped her car, the others followed suit, pulling up close to one another for security measures. Everybody stepped out of the vehicles and got out the supplies they'd brought with them. About 50 feet ahead there stood a nice neat row of trailers and semis, and they noticed the trailers had lights on in them.

"Everybody know what to do?" Luke asked.

"You got it, Luke," Cooter said.

"Alright, let's do it."

Bo and Luke got out their bows and arrows, though tonight, for now anyway, they'd traded their dynamite arrows for new ones with Luella's smoke flares attached to the heads. They readied their aim, Luella lit the fuses and the Dukes shot the arrows straight at the trailers, which smashed through the windows and soon filled the area with smoke. There was a lot of screaming as the people inside headed for the doors to get out. As soon as they reached the outside, Jesse fired two warning shots and stirred everybody up in an even bigger panic.

Luke and Bo traded their bows and arrows for two shotguns and were among the first at the scene and surrounding the newcomers of their county.

"Evening, folks," Bo said with a coy smirk on his face.

"What the hell is this?" one of the men asked. There were about 10 of them and two women standing huddled together, but everybody knew there were more close by and they had to be on the lookout for them.

Rosco came to the front and told them, trying to posture seriously, "My name is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane and you…you're all under arrest."

"What charge?" another man asked.

"Let's see," Luke said, "Transportation of illegal substances across state and county lines, transportation, carrying and use of illegal firearms, attempted murder, all sounds like a nice tidy little package to me."

"Probably be lucky to just get 10-20," Bo noted.

"At worst, we still got the electric chair in this state and we _use_ it," Luke added.

"Oh really?" another man asked, "And who's gonna put us there? _You_ dumb hicks?"

"We can put you in the ground if you prefer," Jesse answered and said with a mischievous grin, "Soil's good and soft this time of the year. 'Sides, I've been meaning to plant a new rose bush on my farm."

The man shook his head and responded, "I don't think so, old man."

Rapid gunfire came out of nowhere and the small band of vigilantes was ducking for cover, and trying to cover one another and return fire, but the mysterious gunmen were somewhere out in the dark and it was impossible to tell where anybody was for sure.

"Uncle Jesse!"

"Daisy!"

"Is everybody okay?" Luke asked as they found one another.

"I think so, Luke," Daisy answered, tremors in her voice as they ducked down to avoid being hit.

The truck Cooter had driven in suddenly roared to life and lit up, and Cooter plunged it forward into the night to drive the gangsters out of hiding, and to an extent it worked, several of the shooters came out of the shrubbery trying to get away from the crazy man trying to run them over. They were still masked by the darkness, but not for long, because the next thing anybody knew, there was the sound of glass shattering, followed by the WHOOSH of flames climbing into the sky as a couple of homemade Molotov cocktails shattered in the dirt.

"What is that?" Rosco spun around, "Who _did_ that?"

"Luella!" Bo called out in the night.

Luke looked around in the chaos and asked, "Where is she?"

The next thing they heard was the sound of one of the mob men choking and gasping, and the air filled with the familiar odors of gasoline and kerosene.

"Hey!" they heard a voice call out in the midst of the ruckus, "Anybody got a light?"

Luella. She had a cigarette in her mouth and pulled out her lighter and answered her own question, " _I_ got a light," and she proceeded to flick the metal wheel on the cheap lighter, 15 feet away from the man she'd just doused in gasoline.

"NO!" Luke hollered at the top of his lungs. It wasn't supposed to go like _this_!

The man she'd drenched was screaming the same thing, just as loud, but it all fell on deaf ears as she managed to get a spark out of the lighter and calmly raised it to her cigarette.

The next thing Luella was aware of was a sharp chop in the ribs and she was thrown to the ground, she looked up and saw Bo Duke was the man responsible.

She spit out her cigarette and asked him as she got up, "What'd you stop me for?"

"Luella you're going too far!" he told her.

"You _can't_ go too far with these people," she replied, the fire now in her eyes as she glared at him and told him, "They've done it plenty of times before to plenty of people, it's about time they got some of it back to see how _they_ like it!"

"That don't make it right!" Bo stood his ground.

" _Eye for an eye_ ," she remarked, "This is just a fraction of what one eye would be worth with them. It's the _only_ way to _stop_ them!"

"No!" he wouldn't hear it, he couldn't believe it, he couldn't accept it. Revenge against property, _not_ people, that's the way it had _always_ been, he couldn't go back on that now.

For having next to no real plan of what they were doing once the fireworks started, Luke thought they were handling the situation fairly well. Between Cooter's driving and the fire bombs, they'd managed to scare most of the people out into the open. He grabbed one man and knocked him out. Boss Hogg forewent firing at the crooks and instead focused on using his shotgun like a club and beating two men over the head with it back to back. One of the women tried to make an escape but Daisy caught her and the two fell to the ground and tried to throw one another off each other, but Daisy reigned supreme by taking one of her shoes off and beating the other woman in the butt with the heel. Rosco tried to restrain the other woman but she proved to have a nasty little surprise waiting and stabbed him with a small knife she kept concealed somewhere on her. Ridiculous though it sounded, it wasn't a serious injury but it was enough for Rosco to only focus on the pain in his arm as the woman tried to run off, but Daisy got her too, first by tripping her and then by putting her in a headlock until she passed out.

Luke looked off in the distance and he saw one of the men heading to a car they hadn't seen before. Cooter came up in his cab and Luke told him, "He's getting away!"

"No he ain't," Cooter said and nodded his head back, "I unhitched one of the other cabs, come on!"

Luke headed over to the trucks and found the one Cooter had undone and climbed up in the cab and started it, turned it around and took it the long way around to come up behind the car. The driver had just got it started and was trying to pull out, but Cooter was closing in on him from the front, so he threw the car into reverse to back out the other way, but Luke came up in the other truck and the two men proceeded to ram into both ends of the car so it resembled an accordion. Luke gave a wave to signal he figured they'd done as much damage as they could do before they killed the man inside, so they backed the trucks off of the smashed car, and climbed down in time to see the driver climb out of the car. Luke went over to him, grabbed him, punched him in the face and knocked him out.

"Looks like the fun's about over," Cooter noted.

Luke looked and saw that he was right. Just about everybody was either on the ground out cold or getting tied against a tree until Chickasaw County police could come over and lend a hand and help them out, meanwhile Rosco was reading them all their rights.

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court o' law…you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney, the court will provide one for you…" he looked them over and added, "But no long distant calls, your buddies down home ain't gonna be getting your one phone call to request reinforcements."

Luke went back over to Jesse and Bo and said to them, "Well that worked a lot easier than I thought it would." He looked around and started to ask, "Hey, where's…"

There was the sound of a ruckus coming from one of the trailers that hadn't been hit with the smoking arrows. One loud voice, then another, then one of the bigger windows on the trailer shattered as Luella was thrown through it, flying backwards through the air and crash landing on her back on the hard ground.

"Oh my God, Luella!" Boss Hogg dropped his shotgun and ran over to see what had happened.

The last man in the gang came running out of the trailer thinking he could get away before anybody got to him, but Jesse caught him and bopped the man over the head with his rifle, knocking him out cold.

"And _that_ ," he said, "Is the end of _that_."

Bo and Luke dropped down on either side of Luella to see how bad the damage was. Her body lay crooked and her neck was turned to what was more or less an unnatural angle, she wasn't coherent and she didn't seem to be aware of anything except pain.

"Keep her still, don't move her," Luke told Bo, and got up to radio for help.

Bo kept Luella's arms pressed against her sides as she tried to move, and he told her, "Luella, hold still! You can't move until the paramedics get here, you could be paralyzed!"

Boss Hogg took off his hat instinctively and knelt down beside his niece and asked her, "Luella, can you hear me? Luella, you know who I am?"

She forced her eyes open and to the side to look at him and she got out in a weak voice, "You're a pig."

Boss Hogg sucked in a breath of relief and commented, "That's my niece."

Luke came running back with Jesse and Daisy behind him. "The paramedics are on the way, they're gonna rush her to Tri-County Emergency. How's she doing?"

"Not good, I don't think," Bo told his cousin.

"They better hurry," Boss Hogg said, "Tri-County Emergency, they only got _two_ ambulances…oh I hope they're not on call already."

"You mean to a crash?" Daisy asked.

"Well yeah one of those, or a delivery, I mean they can be terribly complicated," Boss Hogg said.

Luella spoke up in a strained voice and said, "It never bothered me any."

Bo and Luke looked at each other questioningly and Bo asked her, "Luella you never had a baby, did you?"

"Of course I didn't," she got out, "That's why it never bothered me."

"Just hang on," Bo told her.

The night air gradually began to fill with the sounds of oncoming sirens, which seemed to be coming from all directions, soon the immediate area was also covered in flashing lights.

* * *

The waiting room at Tri-County Emergency was fuller than usual, especially given how many were there for just one patient. Rosco had stayed behind to fill the Chickasaw County police in on what had been going on, but Jesse, Bo, Luke, Daisy, and Boss Hogg had gone to the hospital and were awaiting word of Luella's condition. Bo and Luke sat beside each other like perfect bookends, Daisy sat next to Jesse and had her fingers intertwined and seemed to be hunched over in a silent prayer, Jesse just looked straight ahead waiting for the first sight of the doctor, and Boss Hogg paced the floor like an expectant father waiting to see his wife with his baby for the first time.

"How long's it been?" Daisy murmured to Jesse.

"I reckon about an hour," he answered.

"Feels like forever," she said, "What's taking so long?"

Jesse shrugged his shoulders and responded, "Takes a while to check everything. Probably got a lot of tests to make sure nothing's wrong."

"What if it is?" Daisy asked in a low whisper so the others couldn't hear.

Every minute ticked by like an hour, they were sure they'd all go crazy waiting before anybody told them what was going on. Finally, a doctor came out to the waiting room and removed his mask. Everybody leaned forward and waited with wide eyes and their hearts in their throats.

After looking around at everybody waiting on the news the doctor told them, "She's going to be just fine."

This drew a mixture of responses from everybody, Jesse let out a "Thank the Good Lord", Daisy and Luke both jumped to their feet, this sudden news was enough to get one of Bo's trademark 'YEEEEEE-HAAAAAW's out of him, and Boss Hogg looked like he was going to faint.

"Oh hallelujah," he said as he took his hat off and fanned himself with it, "When I can I see her?"

The doctor looked at him and asked, "Are you her uncle?"

"Yes I am," he said proudly.

Without missing a beat the doctor responded, "She specifically requested _not_ to see you when she was brought in."

The reaction this got out of Boss Hogg _wasn't_ what the others expected. His eyes lit up and he hollered, "Hot DAMN, she _is_ alright!"

"Charming family," Bo murmured to Luke.

"When can we see her?" Luke asked the doctor.

"I would recommend tomorrow as the earliest, she's been sedated now and won't be able to talk."

"We'll be back," Jesse assured him.

* * *

The third day into Luella's stay in the hospital, Bo and Luke went back without the others. The last two days when they'd gone with Boss Hogg and the others to see Luella, she'd still been so whacked out on the medication they had her on that she couldn't stay awake more than a couple minutes when they visited. Today when they entered the hospital room, the first thing they'd noticed was the room suddenly filled with flowers, bouquets of roses, lilies, daisies, tulips, carnations, and a couple pots of petunias and zinnias.

The second thing they were aware of was that Luella was awake and sitting up. "All that's missing is a big bee, isn't it?" she asked them with a small smile.

"They're very…nice," Luke said.

"Yeah, Aunt Lulu ordered them," Luella explained, "She couldn't come herself so she sent flowers, in tenfold."

The two Dukes went over to her bed and Luke asked her, "So how're you feeling?"

"Considering they tell me three days ago the doctors had to put some of my vertebrae back in place, I'd say I'm doing damn well," she answered.

"Well we just thought you might like to know that Rosco got some outside help and they locked up every last one of those people from the other night," Luke told her, "And it turns out Rosco's getting better at interrogating people because he got a few of them to rat out on some other members of the mob, so now he's in touch with state police in Tennessee and Arkansas, and they're anticipating more arrests."

"The only trick now is making it all stick," Luella said.

"They're working on it," Luke said.

"So," Bo said, changing the subject, "You're a Hogg."

"Don't hold it against me," she told him, "My full name is Luella Hogg-Clatterbuck."

"We never knew Boss Hogg had a niece."

"Well you wouldn't, his side of the family and my mother's side of the family exclusively _don't_ speak about one another."

"Boss Hogg has a sister?" Luke asked.

"Just half a one," Luella answered, "But they've been half and half since before any of us was born, so apparently it counts."

Luke laughed and told her, "I don't think I ever saw Boss Hogg so afraid of _one_ person before in my life."

"Yeah, not even Lulu," Bo agreed.

"So how come he was so scared of you?" Luke asked.

"Because he knew I was serious about reporting him to his sister, and she and her husband _would_ flail him alive if they knew about all his crooked dealings he's got going on in this county. My mama is the meanest woman alive, and she married a man that's even meaner than her and nobody thought that possible."

"Well he sure wasn't expecting to see you," Bo said.

"Well he wouldn't," Luella replied, "I've been away."

"Traveling?"

"No," she answered, "I've been in a reformatory."

Both cousins looked at her like they hadn't heard right.

"What?" Luke asked.

"I've always been what you'd call a discipline problem as a child…always getting in trouble, always doing things I _wasn't_ supposed to, and it just seemed no matter how hard I tried to behave, I just couldn't change who I was. That was something my parents couldn't accept, I got whipped with so many switches that I still have a few of the marks. And then one day when I was 15 I got so fed up with getting whipped all the time that I lost it…I grabbed the switch away from my father and started hitting him with it. Then my mama tried to pull me off of him, I got her a couple times too. I never hit them before, I never lost my temper with them before, no matter how much I disobeyed them, I always tried to honor them. But that's when they decided to have me put away, you know, one of those combination reform schools/labor work farms, where they decide they'll work the fight out of you."

"I thought only boys got sent to those," Bo said.

"Ordinarily they do, but the place I got sent to was willing to take on the more extreme cases, there were a few other girls, but I think by and far I was the meanest one because they managed to break all the rest. I've been on more chain gangs than Robert E. Burns. I learned real quick how to act so as _not_ to get beaten by the people there, but it still didn't do any good, I am what I am and that's all I'm ever going to be. So then I figured if I couldn't be nice, then what I had to do was use the meanness I had to do some good in the world. Kind of twisted, ain't it?"

"When'd you get out?" Bo asked.

"Last month when I aged out," she looked at them and admitted, "I just turned 18. You were right, Luke, I lied about everything, but I _had_ to. Once I got out I decided I'd come up to Hazzard County and find out what ol' Uncle Jefferson Davis was up to, because I knew it wouldn't be anything good, because he was _never_ up to anything good even when I knew him as a kid. And I decided I didn't want anybody finding out that I was related to him, so I changed my name, changed my age, changed _everything_. I didn't want to take a chance on anybody drawing a connection."

"Well it worked," he told her.

"So what've you been doing since you got out?" Bo asked.

"Well I didn't call my parents when I got out, I figured if I put some more distance between us, maybe I could finally let go of what happened. My friends all graduated high school and moved on with their lives while I was still locked up, they were all gone when I got out and I had nobody, so I walked the first couple days, just glad to finally be out of that prison. After that my feet started getting tired of trekking up and down all those winding roads, so I started hitching to try and get here, but that's a very religious experience of an unfavorable kind, you get every drunken moron who can't tell the gas from the brakes or the street from the sidewalk or two motorcycles from a semi, and you pray every minute of that ride just to get out alive, and there're more of them than you'd think. _Then_ I first stumbled onto the southern mafia, some dealing went wrong, two people were dead, there was a shipment of drugs in an open car, along with thousands of dollars. There was nobody left alive to say how much money was in the car and the cops weren't going to give it much attention anyway, so I took a couple thousand so I could eat and get a place to stay at night…then I _did_ get the car about 200 miles from here but I bought it for $700. I took my time getting up here and along the way I kept having very close encounters with the mafia and how they were working, and that's when I figured out they must've been heading here because I only missed them by half an hour, an hour at best on the road. And _that's_ when I figured that Uncle J.D. must've gotten involved with them and _that's_ why they were coming to set up shop." She looked at the two young men and told them, "But now you see why I had to lie…I had to figure out what was going on here, who was involved, who wasn't, who might be an informant back to J.D….besides, I had to make sure you two were on the up and up, didn't I?"

"Well did we pass?" Luke asked.

Luella smiled, "With flying colors."

"So now what?" he asked.

"My first order of business is to get out of here, I think I'm getting bedsores from laying up in here all day. Though I gotta admit, I think I've slept more in these last three days on their sedation than I have in the whole last month. My next order of business is going to be getting some clothes when I leave here, they cut off the ones I was wearing when they brought me in, can you believe that?"

"We kind of figured, so we brought you something," Luke reached down to the floor and pulled up a large paper bag and placed it on her lap and told her, "We brought a spare change of Bo's clothes, they'll be a little big but it beats walking out of here naked."

Luella laughed and told them, "Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"So what've you got planned for the immediate future?" Bo asked.

"Well the doctors say I got extremely lucky, they figure I can get out of here by the end of the week and they don't anticipate any follow-up. So I guess now I'll be heading home to face the music." She looked at them and told them, "I'm really glad I got to meet you guys."

"I guess we're glad we got to meet you too," Luke said, "Though I think I can safely say you gave us one of the _weirdest_ days in this county."

"Yeah, but wasn't it fun?" she asked.

That got a good laugh out of Bo.

"Hey Luke," she said, "You know I can still make that phone call back home, put J.D. out of business and hang him out to dry. I can turn that fat hog into a pork chop."

"Well we appreciate that, Luella, but we don't want you doing that," Luke told her.

"Why not?" she asked, "He's screwed you guys over enough times before and you know he will again, as soon as I leave he'll be back up to his old tricks."

"I know," Luke said, "But the fact remains he owns everything in this county, if he's run out, who takes over? Somebody worse? Maybe somebody with stronger ties to the mob? I think we're better off taking our chances with him, we're getting plenty of practice in running circles around him."

"I _still_ don't know _why_ you people help him, he keeps getting himself into every scrape he winds up in, and he's going to do _that_ again too, are you _really_ going to help him _again_?" she asked.

"We don't want to but if we have to then we will," Luke told her.

She looked up at them and told them firmly, "He's _my_ family, I say let him drown."

"You know we can't do that," Luke said.

"I suppose not, though I could hope," she said, "I guess you two really are just better men than I. I could still call in a favor and get your guys' probation repealed, probably get you guys the whole clean slate."

"We don't want you doing that either," Bo told her.

"Come on, let me do _something_ after you guys helped me," she told them.

"You had everybody fooled, didn't you?"

"I certainly tried, if I succeeded, then I'm glad," Luella told them, "There are many advantages to playing dumb, if people think you're a stupid hick they tend not to censor themselves too much in your presence, opens a floodgate of information that would otherwise be confidential with you around. Likewise if people think you're just barely smart enough to tie your shoes, makes it a lot easier to get the drop on them. But it's an immense talent to actually be able to fool country people into thinking you're stupid. City folk are _so_ easy to convince. You know how it is, you dress like I do, or you talk with a little… _twang_ , and they figure you're just some stupid country bumpkin who just fell off the turnip truck and don't know nothing. _Country_ people are a lot harder to fool because they _know_ better, they're the ones that _know_ that there _is_ a difference between 'country' and 'dumb', big city people think it's all synonymous. Gotta be a damn good actor to make _them_ think you're a stupid hick."

"Then you should be in Hollywood because you sure had us fooled in the beginning," Luke told her.

"You caught on quickly though, what exactly gave it away?" she asked.

"A dumb hick wouldn't have been able to outrun the General Lee, no matter _what_ they were driving," Bo explained.

"So you knew from the start," Luella said.

"We had our suspicions but it took a while to actually put it together," Luke told her, "There was always the chance it was a first."

"Yeah well," Luella leaned back against the pillow on her bed and said, "When you've spent three years locked up and you get a chance to tear up the road at 100 miles an hour and actually _feel_ the freedom, you gotta _take_ it."

"Where'd you learn to drive?" Bo asked.

"Well actually I didn't," she answered, "I started practicing with my daddy's car when I was 12, I'd gotten pretty good at it by the time I got sent away. Apparently some things you _don't_ forget, if you're determined enough."

"Might I make a suggestion?" Luke asked, "Before you try that stunt somewhere else you better get yourself a license or the next time somebody pulls you over, they _will_ lock you up."

"Do _you_ have a license?" Luella asked.

"Yes I have a license, I…"

To Luella, the look on Luke's face looked like his mind just snapped shut. Bo knew better, and could tell by looking at his cousin that a light bulb just turned on.

"What is it?" Bo asked.

Luke looked to Luella and said to her, "Luella, I think we just might take you up on your offer."

"I'm all ears," she said, "What do you need?"

"If you really want to do something for us, I think there might be _one_ favor you could call in," Luke told her.

"You name it," Luella said.

* * *

"You want to _what_?" Boss Hogg asked.

The day Luella got checked out of the hospital, she and the Duke boys paid a visit to Boss Hogg at the county commissioner's office, which has just gotten a new door and also new plaster in the walls to cover where the buckshot had scattered. Luke and Bo sat down across from him at his desk, Luella helped herself onto the edge of the desk so she could stare him down as she gave him her demands.

Luella crossed one leg over the other and told her uncle matter-of-factly, "You are going to loosen the leash on the technicalities of these guys' probation."

"Now see here, Luella, we _had_ a deal," he said.

"We had _one_ deal, now we're having _another_ ," Luella said, and reached for his phone, "Or I'm making a call to Mama and Daddy."

Boss Hogg's eyes bulged and a noise caught in his throat and he used both hands to pry the receiver away from her and hang it back up and he told her, "Well there's no need to be rash, Luella, we can always negotiate on this."

"Here's the negotiation," she told him, "First of all you grant them leniency on this rule about not crossing county lines."

"How _much_ leniency?" he asked skeptically.

"Right now they risk violation if they leave the county at all, give them a window of time to leave and get back in the same day, when they have odd jobs of running trucks for people."

He groaned and grumbled but answered, "Alright, alright, I'm sure we can work that out."

"And there's one other thing," Luke said, trying not to smile but losing the battle rapidly because this was too good to resist.

"I want their probation frozen for a period of time for them to determine in which they can leave the county for an extended time and then come back of their own choosing."

Boss Hogg did a double take and said in a teeth-gritting tone, "I'm afraid I don't understand what it is you're asking."

"These guys want to go out on the NASCAR circuit and they can't do that if they get busted as soon as they're over the county line," Luella explained, "So they will decide _when_ they want to leave and you clear it with whatever cops you got working around here and just act like nothing happened."

"Think about it, Boss Hogg," Bo said with a toothy smirk, "However long we'd be gone, it'd be that much time that you _don't_ have us interfering with your plans."

"On the condition you leave Daisy and Uncle Jesse alone for that period of time," Luke explained.

"And no phone calls home," Luella drove the final point home for Boss Hogg, "That way it's a win/win situation and everybody's happy."

Well _he_ wasn't but he knew it wouldn't do any good to point that out. He glared at his niece and told her, "You really _are_ your mother's daughter."

"And don't you forget it," Luella said as one hand reached for the receiver again.

"Alright, alright," he reluctantly agreed, "When?"

"Soon," Luella told him, "And if I hear _one_ word about you going back on this deal, trust me, I _will_ be back."

Boss Hogg grumbled under his breath, looked at Bo and Luke who were awaiting his decision, and he told them begrudgingly, "Alright, alright, I'll clear their leaving with Rosco so if he sees them leaving he won't haul them in. Then as far as anybody else in this county knows, I don't know anything about this. As far as anybody else knows, I don't _care_ if they're not here."

"That's all I ask," Luella said.

"Yeah," he grumbled at her, "You get an inch and you take it the _whole_ marathon."

"What can I say, Uncle?" Luella asked innocently as she scooted off his desk and stood up, "I _am_ a Hogg."

"Unfortunate though that is," Luke murmured under his breath to Bo.

Bo leaned over to his cousin and murmured back in response, "If she _wasn't_ , she wouldn't have this pull on him."

"True," Luke realized.

Their meeting with Boss Hogg over, they left the commissioner's office and headed back out to the street where the General Lee waited alongside Luella's Camaro.

"So I guess this is it," she said as they reached their cars.

"I guess so," Luke replied, "Thanks for helping us."

"Thanks for helping _me_ ," she told them, "This was a lot easier than it would be if I'd been on my own." She turned to Bo and told him, "By the way, Bo, thanks for the clothes, I hope you don't mind if I keep the jeans but I don't think I'll be needing your shirt anymore."

"How come?" he asked.

She peeled off his blue T-shirt, revealing a brand new rebel flag shirt underneath and told him, "What can I say? It's me, and besides, if I want to play the dumb hick for anybody else's benefit, they don't come much easier than this."

"They'll definitely be able to see you coming," Luke said.

"Look who's talking," Luella replied, pointing to the General Lee, "So, when do you think you guys will be leaving?"

"Maybe next month," Luke told her, "We've got some stuff to finish up around here before we go."

"Well if J.D. tries backing out, you just threaten to call me, that ought to keep him on his best behavior until you leave anyway," she said, "Maybe I'll come out and see you guys race sometime."

"We'll look forward to it," Luke said with a small smile.

Luella went over to Bo and hugged him and told him, "Say goodbye to the others for me."

"You got it," he told her.

She pulled back from him and took a step over to Luke and hugged him as well.

"You know, Hazzard County sure is an interesting place, I might have to come back someday," she said.

"We'd definitely look forward to having you," he said.

Luella went over to her car and looked back to the guys and as they watched, she climbed in through the window on the driver's door and slipped into the driver's seat. The Dukes had a good laugh at that and Bo said to his cousin, "I think we wore off on her."

"Maybe," Luke said jokingly, "I just hope she didn't rub anything off on us in return."

Luella hit the horn and waved goodbye as she started the engine, then hit the accelerator and floored out of there.

"Well now that that's taken care of," Luke said as he turned to his cousin, "What's on the agenda for today?"

"How about a little rabbit hunting?" Bo asked.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Luke replied as they climbed into the General Lee, "It's good to be getting back to normal around here."

Bo looked out the side mirror and saw a new Dodge Monaco coming up behind them, "Hey, looks like Rosco's got a new police car."

"Well then," Luke sat back with a smirk, "I guess we better find out if it's road worthy."

"You got it," Bo said, and buried the accelerator to the floor, "YEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAW!"

The End

A/N: Thanks for reading, everybody, I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did writing it!


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